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The Return

I have begun to gather my thoughts and put them into mini posts. It was then that I decided that this blog was often the best therapy possible for the trials and tribulations of everyday life. It is of course a way to also preserve for posterity the strange and delightful things that my children say. Back soon.
Recent posts

Penis juice and vodka

We have one more week of school here, yet my children have already disconnected the brain switch. I hate to tell them but we will home school throughout the summer. Luckily for them we can get our work done in less then two hours with only three kids and of course the fact that I sneak projects in throughout our everyday activities. Ethan decided he is exempt from the school dress ode because school is almost out and the daughter has jumped on that band wagon. I decided to let it slide. I figure a cute little t-shirt isn't going to ruin any one's grades, they were all turned in on the 24Th, so we will see if I get a call from the school. So today's little golden nugget of delight is brought to you by Ethan. Mom:Ethan, quit messing with your business. Go to your room if you want to do that. Ethan: I am not messing with it, it hurts. It feels like I am going to bleed when I pee. Mom: Oh honey, I am sorry but you will have to go to your Dad. He is in charge of penises. I handl

And I thought I should Change the Title of My Blog

I was considering a new layout, a new title, well just an overall new feel to my blog. I mean some things have changed since I first started recording my thoughts and feelings of the going ons in my everyday life. Well, I am no longer taking Paxil and well, crap.....I think that is it. I thought the poop was really no longer an issue as well until this week. Someone decided that an oopsie poopsie was not something they might share with their mother. You know the lady who does the laundry. I was blessed with the joy, upon removing clean clothes form the laundry, an overwhelming smell of shit. Yep, SHIT!!!! I had almost all the clothes in the dryer and noticed a wad, a ball, a massive roll of poop. Apparently someone had pooped enough in their underwear and then just snuck it into the dirty laundry. GROSS!!!! I mean really?!?!?!? You don't think you might have at least given me a heads up so that I could pre-clean the undies. Man, boys are so gross!

The Verdict is In

“Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all.” While growing up, I had a bit of knack and flare for the dramatics. I often feigned illness to keep from having to do things I did not want to do or to merely miss school because I did not feel like going. My mother quickly caught on to my game and after a bought of “asthma” Mom rushed me to the ER because I was certain I could not breath and was going to die. On the way to the hospital my mother threatened me with near death beatings should by some chance the doctor not find something wrong with me. Well, low and behold, there was nothing wrong with me. Thankfully, my darling mother chose to not follow through this time with what I was sure was going to be one of the worst beatings of all time. I do not remember to this day if I was ever punished but the fear still remains. On the way to taking little miss Emily to the doctor; I too began the Mommy rant. She was suddenly unable to hear us, but only part of the time, she was not r

Oh Those Chickens

When I was a young girl, I was always suffering from some "ailment". I am pretty sure it was for attention. Of course the attention was often a spanking for being such a giant pain in the ass and after a trip to the doctor, the diagnosis was an attention whore. Well I'll be damned, my chickens are coming home to roost. They are coming home, pecking me in my ass, and then shitting on my head. Emily has a doctors appointment thia morning because she is certain that she cannot hear. I believe that her eras are clogged, but not that she is permantly going deaf. Dear god help me if she is because that will mean I actually have to get up off my ass wen I need her for something and can not just yell for her. UGH!!! This could be problematic either way. If my Mom were still alive, I am certain she would be attending all htese appointments with me just for the sheer joy of pointing and laughing at me. I mean really, if it wasn;t happening to me, I too would be pointing and laughin

For Real?!?!?!

So, I am chatting away with my cousin and Ethan decides he is going to interrupt. I pull out the Mom finger which he knows means "you are being a rude ass, wait until I am done talking". He follows the law of the Mom finger and stands there waiting for me to finish pontificating. When I finally finish, I turn to my youngest son, my baby, my little love man, my bubby and the little turd looks at me completely exasperated and says "Well, you talk so much I forgot what I was going to say!" Ahhhhhhh, out of the mouths of ass babes, babes who need to be banished to the land of "No making fun of Mommy, even if you do not realize you are".

Loving the Internet

So I am in love with my Facebook, which may be one of the reasons I have a hard time keeping up with my blog anymore. Well anyways, there is some ladies I found on Facebook, Frugal Girls , They also have their own website that I think everyone who shops, breaths, or lives....uhm pretty much everyone should bookmark. It does have mostly things for the ladies, but there is dude stuff too. AWESOME!!!! So these Frugal Girls turned me onto another really great website that I want to recommend and I am not a big recommender. It is called Vocalpoint . Check it out.