Poop, Paxil, and Pageantry

We had been having a hell of a time with the neighbors. They have a little dog, with a little dog bark and they would just leave that little fucker out for hours. One night that thing barked for over 5 hours straight. I had gone to their door a million times, okay well not a million, but a lot. There was never an answer. Finally, I had to call the cops. The cops could not get anyone either. After about a week, I finally caught someone home and said something. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a quiet dog. A few days later, it started again and again I could get no one to come to the door. I decided to call the cops again. This time they made contact and the barking stopped. Needless to say our "relationship" was not off to a good start. Then the other day, the lady's daughter parked blocking our driveway, which pissed me off. I went down and politely explained to them that if my husband got called out he would not be able to get out of the driveway. Well, apparently it pissed the lady...

I am not sure what is wrong with you. You seemed like a really nice person, you were always cheerful and always so kind. Then I guess hiding the true you become to much. You do nothing but create drama every where you go. I want a divorce, I want to get back together, I want a divorce, I want to get back together. Not only are you mind fucking the man you say you love, but you are tormenting your own children. Every time you say you want to reconcile those little girls are so thrilled to have family time again and then you just pull the rug out from under them. Maybe you are too self involved, too busy blaming others for YOUR problems, too busy in this sick passive aggressive, controlling relationship you have with your mother, but I see it. I see the hurt in the girls. They tell me they do not want to go to your mother's house. the house you choose to live in. The house you swore was so emotionally abusive when you were a child and so manipulative and now you put those girls righ...

We have spent a lot of time trying to instill in our kids the value of money. It is a difficult concept for young kids to grasp. However, I think they have gotten down pretty well. While visiting the in laws, we went to a Great-Aunt's house for her yard sale and all my kids kept asking "what's the price with a family discount?" My favorite part is the sleeveless muscle shirt my youngest bought. He was certain he had not only gotten a good deal, but he was certain he was going to not only be able to keep cool when it gets too hot but also "look cool". Man, These kids............

Today, the feelings still linger, but I have realized a few things. I am a good friend. I will do anything someone asks of me as long as it causes no harm or hardship to my husband and my children. I am a good mother. I educate them, I feed them, I clean them, I dress them, I play with them, and most of all....I LOVE THEM. I am a good person and though it may take awhile to counteract all the negative things that have been thrown at me, I WILL!!! I will be stronger than your hate, I will be stronger than your drama, and at the end of the day, I will walk with my head held high. I have a husband who loves me, children who love me, and friends who prove to me you and all your words are nothing but your own problems. I will be happy and surrounded by love and joy. What will you have? Where will you be? I will move past these hurt feelings. It may take a week, it may take a month, but I will only be stronger because I was able to take those things you have said and done and used them to ma...

I am usually not one to sit and type "real" stuff, you know my deep feelings,but if I do not get this out I may explode. Shit, I may explode anyway. I spend day in and day out wondering if anyone would really notice if I was gone. I have one sister in law who does not speak to me and another who has joined that club. The new member thinks I have some how convinced my brother to divorce her, when she is the one who asked for a divorce. I spent a good deal of time telling my brother I thought he should try harder and I thought he should look at things from a different perspective, but fuck if I am now somehow in shit again. I removed myself from that situation and another that seemed to be too much drama and still it seems to find me. I feel like nothing I do is good enough. Not for anyone. I am not a good enough friend, I am not a good enough mother, wife, aunt, sister, sister-in-law, student.......well I guess my point has been made. I am struggling everyday. I come hide in m...

The kids have some chores that they are responsible for. Nothing hard, I mean they are only 6 and 7. They are just enough to teach them some responsibility. They empty wastebaskets, take dirty laundry to the laundry room, and unload the dishwasher. conversation with Steven (7 year old) Steven: I don't want tooooooooooooooooooo (imagine a really whiney tone) Me: get down stairs and just do it. oh and STOP the friggin' whining business Steven: I finished everything but the stuff I couldn't reach or the things I did know where to put them Me: Good job honey. (reaching out, holding his hand and walking down the stairs) well, sweetie, I will help you with the rest. Steven: I guess you shouldn't send a little person to do a big person's job Are you friggin' kidding me? I was about to choke him out and then kick him down the stairs. Okay not really but uhm isn't it a little early to start with that smart ass business already. I guess am getting what I give....bette...

I can't even explain fully how good I have felt the last few days with friends around me who are so positive and do not constantly LOOK for the bad in life. It is so nice to not have to listen to people's faults ad nauseum . I have had a great time and a chance to clear my mind and refocus on all those things in my life that truly deserve to be priorities. The kids have been back to reading, I have all their summer school work organized and ready. Oh, I even did a bunch of ab exercises this morning and enjoyed it. I am telling you, it is the greatest thing to just get people out of your life that bring nothing but drama and really do not love you or care about you in the way you deserve. What was that damn saying Stewart Smally from SNL had? "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog-gone-it, people like me."

I made a conscious decision to remove those people from my life who either bring mostly drama to the table or those who are only able to emotionally take. I thought for awhile that it was me who might have the issue and then I saw it. I saw that some people think they are being a good friend but just are unable to put themselves in the shoes of others unless it benefits them, a true narcissist . The great thing about it, I have so much time to focus on my family and those friends that see more in the world then just themselves. Beware of the people who claim to always be the victim, say they do nothing but give, and find fault with every relationship in their lives. I was amazed that not one relationship was satisfying, not one person was free from their wrath and their criticism , and not one person has ever been free of the inevitable confrontation. It was exhausting to be on that type of roller coaster ride. I decided to get off. I will always cherish the special moments and the ki...