Poop, Paxil, and Pageantry

Warcrygirl says today is Half Nekkid Thursday. Here I am in all my glory. Now, I payed a lot of money to have an animated likeness done of me (get your boots on people. It is getting deep in here). For those of you wondering, tommorow's theme for Self-Portrait Friday is Tatoos (provided by.....dammit, I can't remember). If you do not have one.....you better be creative.

*looks at the current world's population* You must have a lot of frustration then. What pisses you off? Created by ptocheia I straight up stole this from Jenny . You should also know that talented witch can do this.

I am queen here me roar!!! Seriously, I am super uber famous. Those hot chicks, Sheri and SuZan , featured me as “Celebrating Women Blog Pick of The Month”. Please go here to hear the podcast. Oh, yes, as you can see I discovered blinkies. None of these are my own design (I am way too stupid to figure out how to do something so cool). Thanks to you folks who allow people to use your talents. And yes, I uploaded them to my own photo host. I did not steal anyone's bandwith.

Today I want to highlight a woman who hit the nail on the head when naming her blog Why are These Kids Following Me and who are they calling Mom? Kellie is from Georgia ( I know not Texas, we can forgive her for that ;)). She appreciates the cheaper things in life...oh what, I mean she is frugal and I love a frugal (cheap) mother. I find Kellie to be highly amusing and I am certain ya'll will too. Stop by and check her out.

Okay, Chritsie found this site and all I can say is..... Holy Ape Shit Batman!! That is really all I can say. I sure would like to know what ya'll think.

We had our first experience with fingerpainting yesterday. Steven was quite the little artist. Emily really did not understand getting dirty at first. I guess she thinks food is the only thing you should smear around and make a mess with. She did finally give in and really enjoyed herself.

Oh What a weekend (of course nothing tops Bunny ). I went to an Arbonne party Friday night (that is some expensive ass stuff for an lower enlisted military family). On my way home, I was stopped at the gate for a random vehicle search. They of course want to see my insurance (current), driver's license (current), and Vehicle registration (expired in uhm....January). That's right, I said January (sheepishly laughing). The civilian officer gave me a 100 dollar ticket. DOH!!!!!! He really did not have a choice. January!!!!! So, Now I am home. Clint and the neighbors are filling me in on all the drama with the "children" (18-20 in the military) that live across the street. They play their music to loud, They speed, They have almost hit our kids , they have almost hit our cars, they have thrown up in my other neighbors yards, and they have yelled profanities as they are driving away. So they were pretty much doing the same old shit. We then heard a man and a woman fight...

Okay, I am a comment junkie. I have never denied it. I read every single comment. I also go to the website of each person who comments. When I read the following comment, I was a bit perplexed. You look like you are a saucy kitten. I am too. I am a silly bunny. Silly Bunny loves life! Ruby Homepage 06.26.05 - 9:28 am I was not exactly sure what the person meant. Then I clicked on their link. Please do not click on the following link unless you are ready to be very surprised. (Very Adult...Consider yourself warned) (The Monkey is the link) Now, what exactly did I do to deserve such a thing. I am not sure if I should be insulted or honored that Bunny felt me worthy of sharing something so uhm......."personal". UPDATE: I am so sorry to inform the late comers that as of 5:20 PM Mountain Time, Bunny is no longer available. I am saddened by the fact that so many people will be missing out on such a historic moment in my life. I have tried to find a similar picture so those who did ...

Whoo hoo!!! It is another Friday. Both my children and I have survived another week. This means another SELF PORTRAIT FRIDAY. This weeks theme, summer gear!!! OH my....Humana..Humana...Humana...Go check all these summertime Gods and Goddesses: Barb Toni MamaDuck Meritt Erik Katie Kimberly JackArmy Jody Jana Christie Cat Gold Falcon KGrams

Okee Dokee Pokee. Tomorrow is Self Portrait Friday. We are doing Pictures in shorts, capris, whatever floats your boat. Summer gear! Let's get a gander at the summer time you, me and the other guy. If you are playing or plan on playing, leave me a comment so I can put you on the list of linky lou players. If you are scared of this one, blame it on Barb. Feel free to give her a visit and a piece of your mind. Oh, WAIT!!!! If you are anything like me (a parent) you may not have much mind to spare.

Thank you Barb for helping with this Friday's Self Portrait idea. Show me some leg (or ankle for you shy folks). The theme this week is all about the shorts (or capris). I am such a slave to Pop Culture. I am still an MTV watcher (yes at 31). I was watching a show this morning called Made. This young,college kid Tony wanted to be made into a ladies man. He was an extremely sweet kid, but there was no way he was going to become a ladies man. I say embrace your nerdiness. Own it and Work it. I got a button...I got a button. GoldFalcon gave me a button. I feel so special.

Erik is on A Long Strange Trip. What started off as a way to communicate with friends and family has grown. He is kind enough to share his personal life and his work with us. Erik has both beautiful children and a gorgeous wife back here in the states waiting for him to come home from Iraq. I recommend EVERYONE take a gander at his blog and leave him a comment. Let's make Erik feel welcome in the world of blog. UPDATE TO BLOGROLL : I have again rotated some new blogs in and some old blogs out. You are NOT OUT you have just been moved to the desk top. I am trying to keep my blogroll managable. phew.....too many blogs I love to read. I will rotate again soon. Would you people quit writing blogs I like. It really would make my life so much easier.

I was tagged by Barb. The goal is to describe the " Five things society at large enjoys, but that I, for the most part, just don't get..." 1. Bermuda Shorts. You see them in the Old Navy commercials. I think they are icky. I am a big fan of the Jessica/Daisy shorts. SO is my husband. 2. Face piercing. My friend tara has her nose pierced and I swear it looks like a booger or something. I like the belly, the ears, even the....nope, that's it. 3. Looking like you just rolled out of bed for award shows. This picture takes me right to number 4. 4. Brittany Spears. IS she trying to look like an idiot? I know she couldn't stay a teeny bopper forever, but did she have to turn into a slutty, dumbass? 5. Women that are way to skinny. It doesn't look good ladies. Not only does your head look huge (alien freak), but you also looks like you are a crack head whore. Let's get back to the day when women had some meet are their bones. They were so much sexier. Okay, I am...

I know I usually have funny stories, but I swear, if you bear with me.....it will be funny (in a sick, twisted, Katy kind of way). I was surfing blogexplosion and came across this woman's site. She was insightful and witty (I wish I had marked her site). In her list of 100 things about me, she spoke of being with her 3rd husband when he passed away. It reminded me of when my Mom passed away. A quick (and I mean quick) history. My Mother and I had a very volatile relationship. We loved each other so much, but were both stubborn as mules (funny, I have become so passive since she died). Mom always had the last word or I got the last ass beating. Anyways, Mom had breast cancer and did the holistic thing. DID NOT WORK. The cancer spread throughout her entire body. On September 15, 2002 (yes, while 7 months pregnant with the twins....No, she never saw any of my children) we got the call that the end was coming. My baby brother, his wife (whom my mother adored...such a smart girl Ashley ...

I have two secret crushes!!! Neither is as hot as Clint, but I love them. The first..... And the second..... Not necessarily in that order.

Friday we had a building cookout (we have four units in our building). It spread a bit. We had four couples from other units as well. It was a big potluck deal. We have been so blessed with good neighbors. Trust me, when moving around with the military (well, any job really) good neighbors is such a hit and miss. well, here I am with my neighborhood bitches. (That is me in the center...I swear I am not drunk. That is my first beer, because of the damn migraine I had.) Here Amy and I are. I cannot remember if this is before or after she got drunk off her arse. Man, she is so funny when she gets drunk.

Last night, Clint and I saw Star Wars. I know EVERYONE else has seen it, but we finally had babysitters. OH MY GOD!!!!! It was so good. I know have to rewatch episodes 4, 5, and 6. I knew what was going to happen, but I was still heart broken when Annikan turned to the dark side. I felt better knowing he did it for love. The sad, sad thing to me was, if he hadn't turned to the darkside, she wouldn't have died. Everything happens for a reason (*wink- wink....remember when Dart Vadar kills the Emperor?) Okay, now that I have seen THE movie, I can die a happy woman. I BOUGHT A NEW PAIR OF SHORTS!!!! I yell this at the top of my lungs, because I am so excited. I never buy myself anything! I was down to three pairs of shorts and sadly, they are all khaki. I will take a picture tomorrow to show you my new purchases. I also got a pair of capris (the mommy uniform) and a few shorts. Part of me is so excited, because I never get anything new and was in desperate need for some clothes wi...

A lady across the street bought her daughter a kitchen for Christmas. All three of my kids loved it. When I saw the same kitchen at a garage sale marked for 8 bucks, I knew we were in business. I got them (okay, well Amy got them) to take 6 bucks. I figured I was on the saving end. All I had to do now was get them fake food and pots and pans. Holy crap!!!!! At the next garage sale, a woman had a huge box full of play kitchen paraphenalia. The entire box cost me a dollar. Yes, I outfitted the kids with a kitchen and accessories for a mere seven dollars. Holy friggin' cow batman. I am the bomb!!!! (I am not sure what the hazy crap is on the picture. I think I got my grubby little fingers on the lens)

I want to pimp my blog out in order to acknowledge the top four fathers (in my eyes at least). I have decided to list them in chronological order. #4 Dave (after shaving himslef bald and sitting with sweet baby girl) My little brother, is the father to a beautiful little girl. Meredith will be four this September. She is not only adorable, but she is also very well behaved and unbelievably smart. Dave went on leave from his job during Meredith's first few months to care for her. He continues to this day, to be a very hands on father. I am so proud of Dave. #3 Clint (right before leaving for the Army Ball last night) My darling husband has been as close to perfect as they come from the day our children were born. He is more than a father, he is a Dad. He changes diapers, gives baths, plays, reads, and most importantly loves. He loves our children, all of whom are under the age of three, with all his being and it shows. I believe he will only shine more and more as our children get ...

Sweet, darling GoldFalcon is trying to decide how to handle the chickies at his blog. I know I run with a pretty opnionated group of blog girls, so would ya'll go give him a piece of your mind. Not too much though. You might end up like me.

Okay, I apparently should clear some things up (no pun intended). I DO NOT have jock itch . I know that is what I refer to it as, but as discussed here, it is excema . I do appreciate the advice on dealing with jock itch (which I learned is the same thing as athlete's foot, just different area). Now, if I did have it, I would still tell you and make fun of myself. I suppose calling the excema jock itch, was my lame attempt at humor.

You know I come with the stupidest ideas. Why did I think it would be a good idea to show what we look like first thing in the morning? Well, maybe because I don't give a rat's ass (insert sheepish, trying to portray self-confidence type of laugh here). Clint was my assistant this morning. This first picture (try to not look directly into the photo...You may be blinded) was actually taking just as I was waking. Now I have been up for about 30 to 45 minutes and still no improvement. I have to get my coffee down and clean the kitchen before I am fully awake. I have a few issues. Maybe some OCD!!! I get right out of bed and make all the bed sin the house and then take my coffee straight to the computer. Can you all say "ADDICTED"? (Did I spell that right?) So, Who is playing? Who "said" they were going to play? You know you want to see. If they are not playing yet, check back. They better (insert vicious, I will kill you laugh here)!!!! Cowboy The Teenage Mind...

Oh dear god....The bumpy, lumpy crap is on my knees (no, I have not been on them too much). I bet Clint thinks I am dead sexy now. I will have to try and get a picture of the nasty business to share. I have been using the cream the doctor gave me (trimanoblahblahblah is the technical term). It helps a little bit with the itching, but the bumps have not gone away yet. Maybe he should go ahead and put me on a morphine drip (man, who needs paxill when you have a morphine drip). I have been busy helping the "step sisters" (insert evil laugh here) set up their own blogs (which can be seen here and here ). They are so excited about them. The point of that was, I have been unable to get through my blogroll the last two days and feel so lonely (insert pathetic whimpering here). SIDENOTE: My darling blog friend MaMa Duck asked what was on the menu for Self Portrait Friday. I am going to post my just out of bed look for you all to make fun of and be disgusted by. Please feel free to ...

You have to go here . Especially you Mrs. Duck !!!!! The scary part, hubby wants the doorbell!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK. YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF............ My sweet mother-in-law gives you great jokes each Friday, some delicious down home recipes, and some great everyday country living.

Today I am going to be very nepotistic. I am going to tell you about JackArmy . Not only does he come from good genes (yes, he is my brother), but he also writes a very informative blog. He keeps you up to date on most of the military related news, special forces news, and even current events. JackArmy has served in the military for many years. He has driven bradleys, served with the 10th group (special forces), and his most difficult gig....recruiting. He is also super famous. His blog was mentioned on MSN, along with (another great milblogger).

Alright, Not really (That would be like that movie The Crying Game )! I do have some kind of eczema crap on my elbows and it itches like the dickens. The doctor gave me some cream and all I can say is AAAAHHHHHHHHH! I could not imagine having my genitals itch like that. Oh yes, I also got my refill for the "crazy lady meds" (you know, the paxill). Whoo hoo!!! Yeah for Clint and the kids. Last night we watched that movie, The Village. I was totally disappointed. I wasn't the least bit scared and the ending.....SUCKED! It was the same let down I got from The Blair Witch Project . I believed the hype, saw the movie, and then....NOTHING. Man, that pisses me off. I do not get to watch movies very often and when I do, I want them to be good. HELP ME FIGHT THE ANGER!!!!

Okay, so I feel pretty sure he is guilty, but I do not feel like the prosecution proved their case without a shadow of a doubt. I therefore support the jury in their non-guilty verdicts. I would have had to vote the same way. I cannot put a man away based on my gut. I need to know for sure. I guess I will just remember who he was and not the weird,freaky guy we see today. of course I love what he says here!!!

Clint had to get up in the middle of the night to tend to Steven. His diaper was so full, the bed ended up soaked. Clint changed the sheets, changed the boy, and then dragged his ass back into bed. AND THEN..... Emily started crying. I headed off to investigate, only to find her dry heaving. She has some snot drainage. Ewwwwww Gross. I swear, one day I will write about things other than bodily functions. It just isn't today. Well, off to vacuum and take the kids for a walk. That makes me think of something my Dad always says. Raising kids (through about the age of 4) is like training a dog.

Clint and our neighbor, Mike, went to Amarillo yesterday to pick up the "evil step-sisters" (Okay, they aren't evil, but it sounds so much more dramatic). I am very excited to have them here. ALL the neighbors are clamoring for dates to have the girls babysit. Good luck, I get first dibs and we are going to go see some sites. AND......... WAY TO GO STEVEN!!!! He told me yesterday (he is still in diapers, not yet potty trained) he needed to go potty. I pretty much ignored him. He then came downstairs butt naked, saying something about poop (god, I really DO talk about poop a lot). A huge pit formed in my stomach, as I thought back to the shit mural he and his sister painted in their room back in January or February. I quickly went to investigate. He guided me to the upstairs bathroom, where he promptly pointed out the little potty had poopoo and peepee in it. "Holy ape shit, batman!!!" The boy had really gone on the potty. He took off his diaper, let himself into...

Well, here I am about two year sold, doing god only knows. It looks a little naughty. I think I remember my Mom telling me, I dropped something in my lap and was trying to retrieve it. I don't know, what do you think? Now this special little piece of history is chuck full of funnies. Let's start with the mullet. What the hell were my parents thinking. Then you have the really large front teeth. Luckily, I grew into those. Finally, I would like to direct your attention to the "beautiful" outfit. Don't you love the high collar. It really brings out my teeth. Bwahahahahahahaha Who else is playing? Jennifer (and she is too cute. That biatch) Meritt (another biatch) Holy Crap... I have been featured by the Complimenting Commenter . I am so cool!

So, apparently the Grass is greener on my side. I have been watering like a mad crazy woman. I want my baby grass to grow and be healthy and I want our building to be the best in our neighborhood. Look at the really shitty grass across the street. Bwahahahahaha!!! Me? Competitive? No?!!?!? Okay, maybe a little. Clint may now have dry socket (he is off to the dentist, as I type). For any of you who have had teeth pulled and been through dry socket, you know it is extremely painful. My poor husband is not only crabby from starvation (he is in desperate need of a steak), but he is in a shitload of pain (he is not one of those cry baby men either. He is a tough cookie). And about the baby poop hater...... Well, this guy last night at blog explosion , was pissed because a "blog with a picture of a baby covered in bleep "(his words not mine) beat him. Doesn't he know that bleep is very funny. Anytime you post a picture of poop, childhood injuries, or a story about sex, you a...