Skip to main content

"What's That Salty Looking Stuff?"

I have often wondered when the entertaining conversations with my children would stop. Well, I am pretty sure the answer to that question is NEVER!

The kids were playing camping. To set up the scene, they were all on the bottom bunk with a blanket hanging over from the top bunk, all the lights off, and handy dandy flashlights in their hands. All seemed well and good until all three came out to ask about a bump found in Ethan's belly button. I closely examined it and then reassure them it was merely a mole (skin tag). Of course I did start to wonder how they found this thing while "camping". The three of them explained that they had been playing doctor and discovered during an examination. Okay, okay. They all have their clothes on so I see no harm in the situation.

Awhile later, Steven asked me what the slimy green stuff was in Ethan's nose.

Mom: Well honey, he has a little bit of a cold. that is snot.

Steven: Oh that is gross.

Mom: Yes, yes it is pretty dang gross.

Steven: What is the salty looking stuff on his butt?

Mom: What? Uh?

Steven: On his butt hole. He has some white stuff that looks salty. Like salt.

Okay, at this point I have realized that the game of doctor progressed waaaaaaaaaaaaaay further then I expected. Holy Shit!!! What the hell are they doing looking at Ethan's butt hole?

Mom: What the hell are you doing looking at Ethan's butt hole?

Steven: He took his pants off and said look at my butt hole.

Mom: well, the white stuff is probably leftovers from toilet paper and no one should be looking at anyones' butt hole. It is NOT okay to play ANY games that require you to take off your clothes.

I mean strip poker and hide the sausage, but that is when they are way older and they had better never play those games in my house. I pray I got my point across. Dear god, can't you just see them in there with the flashlights examining the kid's asshole. Good friggin' grief!!!

Comments

Anonymous said…
hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

Popular posts from this blog

And I thought I should Change the Title of My Blog

I was considering a new layout, a new title, well just an overall new feel to my blog. I mean some things have changed since I first started recording my thoughts and feelings of the going ons in my everyday life. Well, I am no longer taking Paxil and well, crap.....I think that is it. I thought the poop was really no longer an issue as well until this week. Someone decided that an oopsie poopsie was not something they might share with their mother. You know the lady who does the laundry. I was blessed with the joy, upon removing clean clothes form the laundry, an overwhelming smell of shit. Yep, SHIT!!!! I had almost all the clothes in the dryer and noticed a wad, a ball, a massive roll of poop. Apparently someone had pooped enough in their underwear and then just snuck it into the dirty laundry. GROSS!!!! I mean really?!?!?!? You don't think you might have at least given me a heads up so that I could pre-clean the undies. Man, boys are so gross!

Penis juice and vodka

We have one more week of school here, yet my children have already disconnected the brain switch. I hate to tell them but we will home school throughout the summer. Luckily for them we can get our work done in less then two hours with only three kids and of course the fact that I sneak projects in throughout our everyday activities. Ethan decided he is exempt from the school dress ode because school is almost out and the daughter has jumped on that band wagon. I decided to let it slide. I figure a cute little t-shirt isn't going to ruin any one's grades, they were all turned in on the 24Th, so we will see if I get a call from the school. So today's little golden nugget of delight is brought to you by Ethan. Mom:Ethan, quit messing with your business. Go to your room if you want to do that. Ethan: I am not messing with it, it hurts. It feels like I am going to bleed when I pee. Mom: Oh honey, I am sorry but you will have to go to your Dad. He is in charge of penises. I handl

The Return

I have begun to gather my thoughts and put them into mini posts. It was then that I decided that this blog was often the best therapy possible for the trials and tribulations of everyday life. It is of course a way to also preserve for posterity the strange and delightful things that my children say. Back soon.