Poop, Paxil, and Pageantry

We are all getting dressed and fixing to head out (Christie loves when people say fixin'). We are taking the kids to Red Robin for lunch and window shopping at Home Depot. I then get to do thank you cards with the kids for all the generous people who sent them gifts. I am also going to start my Chritmas cards. Yep, you got it. I am doing it after Christmas. I seem to have a bit more time now. Meritt, I knew it was a made up, stupid holiday. I did not know all the other crap. Thank you mommy Meritt for the lesson. Oh, the new theme is for the Jewish folks. I just want them to feel just as special as the Christmas celebraters. Oh shit, I forgot to do a Yule design. My mother would be so disappointed in me. Oops, gotta go....Daddy is ready to do some man shoppping.

So, today is the first day of Kwaanza. We celebrated by taking down our Christmas tree and putting up our Kwaanza something or other. What do they put up for kwaanza? I know they have a big feast or something. The kids were thrilled (I have oh so many pics I will post), Mom and Dad are tired and the transition of meds is going a bit smooth. I think it isn't too bad because I know what to watch for. I guess we will see. Damn the man for not giving me any zanax. That would smooth out the rough spots on those days. You know the ones....when I am up to my asshole in toddler shit. Ah....memories, of the other damn day. Emily decided the other day that she must have still been wearing a friggin' diaper because she not only wet her pants twice, but took a big ol' healthy shit. What the fuck. Clint got me a winter jacket, some new underwear and of course some rubber spatulas for my baking. The underwear.....desperatly needed. I have still been wearing underwear I bought back before...

Damn good thing Santa brought me that sugar glider! Christmas is a confusing time for some folks.

I do a lot of my photos for posting through photobucket. I love it. It is very very user friendly. They have a new loop thing. It is at the bottom of my blog. Check it out!!! I am so damn excited.

Yes, Yes, I am posting again. I am so damn excited that today is Christmas Eve. I can not wait for the kids to get up in the morning and come down the stairs. Clint got my Christmas present yesterday. Quincy....Sugar Glider #2. Stitch was so very happy to have a friend and I was so very happy stitch would not die of loneliness. Quincy is quite the jumper and glider. We had so much fun last night just letting him jump from person to person. I guess I will have to post a picture of my newest baby. I am starting pre-school with the kids in January. I have been busy looking for websites with printouts and teaching ideas. I am really excited to get them on a more structured learning schedule. They thrive on their current schedule, but I think they need just a bit more structured time throughout the day. Clint's parents are coming to visit the weekend of the 6th and I am REALLY looking forward to that. I am so lucky to have in-laws I get along so well with and are so fun to be around. I ...

I went to see doctor prescription and am now taking zoloft. Let's hope this keeps the craziness under control. I feel better already, not nearly as sluggish and strained. Whoo Hoo. I talked to baby brother today. I sure miss that asswipe. He asked me if I had read a blog lately that he and I both read on a regular basis. I had not, but when I did, I was fucking floored. I am not going to say which it is, but I will give you a quick overview. This guy walked in on someone he knows really well with his baby girl. By baby, I mean very very very young. My little Pony Young. His description of the situation was gut wrenching. Many of my friends have always said I am paranoid when it comes to someone, anyone sexually abusing my kids, well I think I will just be more paranoid and more adamant my children are not left alone with any man. I know that sounds sexist, but the majority of the stories I hear have men as the predators. It breaks my heart every time I hear of a poor child's in...

Alright, I have not been quite honest lately. Here is the deal. I think since they increased my paxill (BAD MOVE) I have been having some problems. I am FRIGGIN' exhausted. I have no desire to do anything. I have to force myself to clean *HOLY SHIT*. I am just tired all the time, so that means I have not been up to blogging. I am calling the doctor today and hopefully can get in soon to get my prescription changed. Meritt, coffee doesn't even seem to be helping!!! UGH!!!

Mommy baked the cake and Daddy decorated the cake. Not to bad looking for a cake for two three year old kids. Ready....blow out those candles. I love my new Dora Dollhouse, but when are these kids going home so I don't have to share? Damn, this was a good birthday, look at the loot!!! I am pretty sure the twins had a good time. Thank you so much to all of those who celebrated both in person and in spirit. the thank you cards will be out soon.

My little princess has decided she LOVES having her picture taken. Ain't she one beautiful little girl? However, do you see the red demon eyes? Even the camera can see the truth!

I have been tagged. Double tagged. By both Rhianna and ArmyWifeToddlerMom . I am supposed to list my five weird habits. Oh where to strat, where to start. 1. I eat my M&Ms in pairs and each pair has to be the same color. 2. I have to make my bed or I feel like the room is a huge mess. 3. I have to call my Grandmother and Dad anytime something remotely exciting happens in my sad little pathetic existence. 4. ArmyWifeToddlerMom always checks her ass and I always check my bbobs. Like I expect them to have grown at least two cupsizes since the last time I saw them. 5. I spend hundreds of dollars on push up bras, scrapbooking supplies and other crap on the internet everyday. I just never actually check out. I guess it is my way of pretending to get stuff I really want or need but can not afford I am sure that is all the weird things I do (wink wink) Oh, I am not tagging anyone!!! Get over it.

Here are my little darlings playing video games. Can you believe that shit? Video games at three? Thank god my kiddos don't eat. At least I do not have to worry about obesity.

So, here is an update on the crazy neighbor drama. "someone" (I am not going to say who just in case) got a hold of a colonel's wife , who found the entire situation quite appaling. She was able to get someone to contact him to find out if she was able to clear out all their things. If he said no, someone was to be sent to stop her. It then became a race with time. The closer she got to finishing loading away all of THEIR things, the less chance their was she was going to be stopped. "someone else" called the mps to let them know she was in possesion of pot. I do not know if anything ever came of that. I do know no one was able to get there to the quarters in time. So, unless she got stopped and arrested at the gate........ I guess at least he will know to revoke her power of attorney and change banks again. Yes, Christie you are correct. Sad unh?

I am so behind on my posts, which seems to be nothing new lately. There has been a bit of neighborhood drama. I love to hear all about it, but avoid getting involved. Well, at least until this time. Let me give you the skinny. There is a couple who lives down the street who we have spent a lot of time with. The husbands became fast friends and then "husband" deployed. A couple of months ago, husband and wife had a falling out because husband was considering getting out of the army. Wife got upset, divorce was talked about and then she went home to stay with her mom. Apparently to save money for when he got out. It seemd like everything was going to be good. Two days ago, wife showed up with two guys, a u-haul and a really bad attitude. She(without huband's knowledge) is cleaning out their quarters. She is taking everything but his clothes and his TA-50. She has new boyfriend and new boyfriend's brother helping her. She also told us that since she has a special power o...

Let me tell you how spoiled my children are. I didn't say rotten because they expect nothing they get and are very grateful for what they do get, but I am still going to say spoiled. Jena got my kids the Dora Talking Dollhouse for their birthday tomorrow. My friend Liz, who can not make the party, brought them their present last night. She got them a V-Smile . What the hell is wrong with these people? Don't they know you are supposed to get coloring books or something cheap? I can not believe how sweet and generous people are to my children. Clint had to go into his Colonel's office yesterday. Colonel wanted to talk to Clint about a scholarship to complete his degree (he is only nine classes away) and about Clint going to OCS. Clint and I are both in agreement, he will only do OCS (Officer Canidate School) if the Army pays off his student loans (32,000). There is no way we would be able to pay that off in the three years commitment he would have to make. We would be complet...

Okay, I was over at Petroville this morning and decided to play. 1. I finally got the sound on my computer to work. Apparently all you have to do is turn up the volume. 2. I am going to make some peanut butter cookies today and I want to send some to Mike in Iraq. Can they get homemade stuff? 3. I need a vacation from my kids. They have been exceptionally needy lately. 4. I have been exceptionally lazy and unintersted in shit lately. Sorry Erik for being such a lazy blogger. 5. I really would like to stop having a period. I mean, I am not going to have any more children (which I am having total mixed feelingsa about....see next post), so why must I bleed each month? 6. I love some morning lovin'. I am not tired yet, I am refreshed, but not a big fan of morning breath. 7. Rhianna sent me a homemade, beautiful Christmas card. What a sweet thoughtful biatch. Thanks Rhianna . Can I come visit. LOL!!! 8. Our low last night was -10. I wonder what the friggin' wind chill was? 9. I a...

I took the kids out to play in the snow. I am going to have to say they love it just as much as I do. Steven and Emily really love it. It was like pulling teeth to get them to come back inside when Mommy had had enough. Ethan reminded me of that movie"A Christmas Story". He was so bundled up, he kept falling over. It was such a good laugh.

We have beautiful snow here. The kids are ready to adorn themselves with snow paraphenalia and head out into the great white outdoors. They were ready at about 7:00 this morning. I explained we would have to wait for the neighborhood to wake up. Not everyone gets up at the butt ass crack of dawn like my little freaks. What a deal!!! I bought some shoes for Emily on e-bay in the wrong friggin' size. I am such a dumbass sometimes. So, I relisted them in an attempt to at least get some of my money back. I am now almost three dollars ahead. Isn't that great!!!! Next weekend we will be celebrating the twins' third Birthday at 2:30pm, our house. This is an open invitation to America. Please feel free to attend. Gist are required. Cash would probably be best. Okay, I am kidding. Maybe!!!!

So, let me tell you of an exciting night in my life. (I know you thought the poop stories had come to an end....) Emily (God only knows why) decided to take her panties of and just shit on her bedroom floor. Now come on kid, we live in enlisted housing on an Army post. The bathroom is only two friggin' steps away. She figured out she had made a mistake, grabbed a washcloth and tried to clean it up. Well, a three year old is not so bueno at cleaning up slimey masses of foul smelling crud. She proceeded to smear it into the carpet. At this point, her little three year old friend Kaden came down to tell us Emily had poop and that the baby was eating it. I was certain he was mistaken. Emily is potty trained, but dear god, he must have meant Ethan. Oh hell no!!!!! She had smeared it and Ethan was tasting it. What the hell is wrong with my children? I am certain they will be the next Jeffrey Dahmers (that's what Dr. Phil says happens to kids who play with shit). Now, the poop has be...

Well, my sweet, darling friend Mike has left for Iraq. His wife Amy got a call yesterday syaing that he had arrived safely in Kuwait, via a stop over in Ireland. I ams so Friggin' jealous. What an asshole. Before he left, we had a pajama party send off with he and his wife, another couple and of course us. (Mike#2, Clint and Mike leaving for Iraq) Have you ever seen a cuter bunch of guys? We played games, drank beer and then the women headed off to watch a movie (the new Bewitched ) and the guys played some football on the PS2. Male bonding I suppose. I will have to say it was very surreal when I went with his wife to drop him off to leave. I guess it is hard to imagine someone you know and spend so much time with being in a war zone. I mean, I have seen this guy drunk, acting like a complete ass (in a funny way of course), but to imagine him carrying a weapon is very hard. I know the things our soldiers do is a necesity, but I hope he gets home soon and I am glad Erik is on his ...

Clint got out the boxes, put up the tree and strung the lights. Amazingly, the kids did not touch. They got as close as they could, but they DID NOT touch. We finished decorating, hung the stockings and cracked open the beer. You know you love the snow man fence. Clint built that last year to keep Ethan off the tree. It works a little!!! He is a creative little fucker.

The day started off beautifully. I made a biscuit coffee cake and we all drank mamosas (I am pretty sure that is not the correct spelling). We ate, we laughed, a good time was had by all. Then the Fartsgiving cloud fell upon the party. I am not sure what did it, but everyone had horrible gas. We would go outside to smoke and come back in to a house that literally smelled like a porta potty. Ethan finally got to the point to where he tried to escape through the broken screen. unfortunately for the little guy, he was just a bit to short to get all the way out. I hope your Thanksgiving was as successful as ours.

So, MamaDuck wants to see who in the family we are spending Thanksgiving with. Well, I will be with my husband and kids and some friends, so I thought I would show you who I wish I could spend Thanksgiving with. This is my Dad and my Grandad (Dad was only 8 months old). My Grandad died when I was in the eight grade. I miss him so much. My 80 year old Grandmother. I miss her BAD!!!!! My brothers and my parents. Of course my mom is dead so I wouldn't be able to spend Thanksgiving with her no matter what. And just for good measure, another picture of my beautiful mother.

I know to some people, it may seem I use quite a bit of foul language on my blog, but to those who know me.........I keep it pretty damn clean. I am not sure why that is. I guess I worry that people might think I cuss and not like me. Well, to them I say Fuck you you Fucking Fucks!!!! You know there is a true art form to using curse words and using them well. My mother was the master. There are still some combinations that I have never heard anyone use sense my Mom. In honor of my mother, I would like to know what your favorite combination is. For those of you who don't drink, don't smoke....what do you do? (I totally stole that!!!!) You have to at least cuss. I know you homeschoolers are probably closet cussers. As are you church goers. Me? I have kicked the fucking cussing door open. Have a fucking great ass day you oozing dick sore. Okay, that may have been a bit harsh. For those of you just passing through, I wanted to add that this post was meant in complete and utter jest...

I know I have explained before how poor we are, but let me tell you how I splurged this weekend. ( My darlings, Pat and Terry will be so proud of me.) The PX is havimg a ginormous tent sale and they have beer on sale for $3.99 a case. Yes, you read that right. $3.99 A CASE!!! HOLY APE SHIT BATMAN!!!! I know have 13 cases of beer stacked up in my house. At that price, I had to buy. It will really save us a lot of money in the long run. I have paxill and Clint has beer. We do whatever it takes to preserve our sanity. I would like to do both, but I am finding that alcohol and paxill do not mix well. I keep puking!!!! Dammit....What drugs do alcoholics take? That would look really good to go ask my doctor for. "uhm yeah, doc, I appreciate the medication, but I need something that will allow me to continue self medicating as well.....oh and could I get some xanax for the really rough days?". I wonder how that might go over? Okay, I am getting off subject. The point is, I have beer...

So, I have gotten almost completely caught up. Let me tell you of my great accomplishments today. Do not read any further if you are concerned with suddenly being overwhelmed with a gross sense of jealousy. I bathed the dog, cleaned the sugar glider cage, did 4 loads of laundry, cleaned the upstairs bathroom, cleaned the twins' room, cleaned Ethan's room, put on lipgloss and mascara, brushed my teeth, showered, cleaned the downstairs bathroom, the laundry room, the kitchen, smoked 6 cigarettes, fed the kids, cleaned kid urine off the carpet, spanked Ethan twice, cleaned my bedroom, ate half a container of pringles,called the groomer to make Tanner an appt., read and commented on some blogs.... Now, what do I still have to do? Hand out 320 newsletters for our village, clean the living/dining room, two more loads of laundry, bake some cookies, go to the tent sale at the PX, list two more lots on EBAY...... I wonder how much of that I will actually get done. To those of you who ar...

I am going to play a little Thirteen on Thursday . Yes, it is still Thursday. 1. I just got a friggin' papercut and it hurts like a bitch. I can not believe I have given birth to three children and I am bitchin' about a papercut. 2. I can not seem to get caught up with the house, with the e-bay, with my blog......I feel so far behind. 3. I have decided to discontinue Self Portrait Friday. If someone else would like to host it great, if not...... no loss! 4. My good friend/neighbor is fixin' to leave for Iraq and I hate that. 5. Steven's poop is almost white. What the hell is that about? I find it a bit disturbing, especially sense I have to wipe his ass. Well, if I don't, his underwear gets pretty funky. 6. Emily and Steven went to see their first movie with their Daddy. He took them to see Chicken Little and were both amazed at the size of the "t.v.". 7. I missed all kinds of birthdays. I am telling you, I can not get caught back up. What the hell is wron...

Erik hosted Self Portrait Friday last week and I am late. I had to take a giant crap on my own lawn. Boy was my ass cold. I decided to share pictures from the Steven and Emily's birthday last year in Texas. Here they are patiently waiting for us to complete the birthday sarinade. Here are Clint and I at the end of the birthday party. We are SO ready for the kids to go to bed. Here I am after the kids went to bed playing a little Texas Hold 'em. That's right baby. I won ALL the money.

Okay, here are my drunky poo pictures I have been threatning to post for over a week now. Sorry MamaDuck it took me so damn long to get my shit together. This would be a wild night of Kareokee!!!! Notice all the alcohol on the table? I am going to just take a wild guess that I probably puked this night. Talk about LOOKING drunk. My tongue is even hanging out of my mouth. Now, on this night, there was genius at work. I discovered many other uses for the maxi pad. It is not only a disposable sweat band (stick on forehead before exercising), but it can also be a disposable bib. Of course, my favorite use would be the disposable house shoe.

Today is catch up day. I had a GREAT weekend. So, since I wasn't on the computer all weekend, I will be posting twenty million posts today. Okay, maybe not twenty million posts, but.......

Okay, Erik has posted the theme for Self Portarit Friday. Pop on over and tell him you are playing. Everyone knows the punishment if Erik doesn't get your support. Yes, that's right. I will poop in your yard.

Well, we came home with drogs. Lots and lots of drugs. We have decongetants, steroids, and antibiotics. Now, where are the sleeping pills. Not for me, for the KIDS. I just want to lay in bed for a few days and for some reason, it just ain't happenin'. I really just want to be able to breath out of my right nostril. My nose is so stuffy, my lips are getting chapped from breathing through my damn mouth. Man, I would take a raging case of "ring o' fire" anyday.

Please, give me some xanax. I need something to help me cope with these three sick kids. Yes, all three are still sick. This is the fifth day of three sick kids. I tried to get an appoinment, but apparently everybody's kids are sick. I am waiting for the doctor to call for a telephone consult. She will tell me whether or not we need to go ahead and pack up and head off to the emergency room. So, since I may be pretty damn busy with the delights of my life, I am passing of my responsibilties of self portrait friday to Erik! ! Erik , you gotta help me man. We need a theme.

1. He kids and I have all been sick for the last two days. Luckily Clint was home and was able to do the shopping, feeding, and babying. 2. I got my dose of paxill increased to 20mg. I really wish they would just give me an anti anxiety. When the need to drown young children begins creeping in, I can just pop a xanax. Then all is good. 3. I also got a prescription for some anti sweaty pit juice. The paxill has turned my pits into a sweaty swamp land. Luckily for there is a solution. 4. I am still planning on posting my drunk ass pictures for MamaDuck. 5. I am so ready for thanksgiving. I love turkey and ham sandwiches. Why do we usually only cook turkey for holidays? It is so divine. 6. My friend Mike leaves for Iraq in three weeks. To surreal. 7. Big brother has made it to Hawaii and hopefully Clint and I will be able to visit. 8. I really have to get stitch(sugar glider) a companion. I do not want him to be lonely, depressed, or die. 9. I brought my cocker spaniel, Tanner, home from ...

The twins came running into our room this morning with a pretty big announcemnet. "It's Christmas time." We explained that no, it was not.....go play. They told us it was snowing. We again told them no it isn't.....go play. Then Clint went to take his morning constitutional and saw this. WELL, APPARENTLY WE ARE ONLY RIGHT 50% OF THE TIME!!! It is not Christmas yet, but sure as shit it is snowing.

Oh yeah, I know you want to have three toddlers, live the military life, and of course stay at home everyday with very little adult interaction. Do not be jealous of this glamorous life I lead. If you choose to have such a daring, lovely life, you too can look like this. This is me being pissed off because Ethan's bedroom window blew out in the wind storm. Notice the ass hair, the ass face, and the ass smelling cigarettes. It looks like I am missing a friggin' tooth. What a hillbilly. Other frustrated faces..... Cat Jana Erik Kris Stacy A Military Mom

So, I am just about to click on the "publish post" button and the power goes out. I had some great drunkee-drunk photos to share. That was going to be my contribution to Way Back Wednesday. Sorry TKW . Maybe I will get them up tonight. We have had high winds here all day. This means no cable, no internet and well.......no DORA!!!! I did see the bed liner to a truck blowing down the street, A three wheeler two snap in half, and of course just the entertainment of something different. Well, I am back and so is Self Portrait Friday. Tomorrow, I want to see your "I am exhausted, leave me alone" look. I know everyone has one of those, paxill or not.

Here are the demons dressed up for Halloween. They took of their horns to get into their costumes. Ethan had the candy gettin' thing figured out quickly. Go figure....the chunk likes candy. He ws the frog prince. To continue along the fairy tale theme, Emily was a unicorn. Steven was a dragon and acted as such. Of course when we got home, we let each of them have one piece of candy and then sent them off to bed. Yes, you read that right. One piece of candy. We are mean parents and withold from our children for our own benefit. I have already eaten all the heath bars. They can eat all the tootsie rolls. they do not know the difference yet.

I got my sidebar back up all by my lonesome. Well, of course Meritt pointed out where to start and Jenny jumped in to help. I got the stuff for the new layout from here . I think it looks so cute. Anyone have any suggestions of things to add or change? I took off a lot of the stuff because someone on blog explosion complained about the loading time. Dangit....you know I love all that crap. I will try to post pics of the new hairdo, kids halloween costumes, and of course make my rounds. Clint has to do school work. Dang, we really need a second computer.

Okay, I am working on my thanksgiving fall layout. I deleted something, I am not sure what and now my sidebar keeps jumoing to the bottom. Someone tell me what I did. Please

On our way to San Antonio, the song " Bed of Roses ", by Bon Jovi , came on. I teased Clint, telling him there better be rose petals on our bed when I come home. Now, fast forward to the trip home. I continued to tease him about the rose petals. When he told me there were none I told him he was an asshole (in jest of course, he is the farthest thing from an asshole). I also gave him a hard time about cleaning the house. Well, when I got home, he had put away the 30 (exaggerating) loads of clean laundry I left behind and he finished and put away all the rest left undone. The kitchen was clean and the dishwasher emptied. The house (entire house) had been vacuumed. Then, I walked in our bedroom. Oh my god!!!! There were Hershey kisses all over the bed with a sweet note, a bottle of wine with two glasses, and a vase with flowers. What a good,good man. Needless to say, Daddy got a good deal in return (wink wink).

This website is so funny. You should check it out.

Okay, I think I mentioned this already, but we had a blow out on the way to San Antonio. Everytime Jill Army told the story, it was a flat tire. To which I had to of course correct. It wasn't a flat tire, it was a blow out. That is a friggin' blowout Jill Army !!!!!

I stole this from Jen . My blog is worth $78,471.06 . How much is your blog worth?

I am back. It took us about 14 hours to get home. The children did remarkably well. So did Tanner (My cocker spaniel who has been boarding at my dad's house). I would have to say the last 20 or 30 minutes was the worst. Tanner was in desperate need of a bath, so the car smelled like stinky ass dog all the way home. I can deal with that. He gets an upset tummy when he is nervous, so add dog farts on top. Still not too bad. Then, 20 minutes away from home, Ethan takes a ginormous shit. Okay, we are almost there. Hang on baby. Oh, but wait.....we get stopped at the gate for a random search. I can tell you this, it was the shortest search ever in the history of searches. I think once those poor guys got a whiff of our car, they knew we were carrying nothing but shit, farts, and a dog needing a bath. By the time we got to the house, Ethan's crap had migrated up his back and all over his carseat. Goodie, Goodie!!!!! Being with my family was great. I do regret that I did not get to se...

Still in Texas. I am going today to get a new hairdo today. I am so excited. I will take pictures and post them if I can. I am having such a great time with my family. I am really going to miss My brother and his family when they go to Hawaii. I think the Steins are going to have to make a trip to Hawaii. Kimmie (my sister) is staying home from school today to play with the kids. She is so cute with them. Your mission while I am gone is to leave me lots of comments (feeding my ego). I will be back in full force on Monday. Clint, I miss you so much. Amazingly, three kids and I still love you. You fertile bastard.

I am in San Antonio!!!! Jack and Jill Army are fixin' to leave for Hawaii, so I came home to see them. Jill met me half way and boy was it quite an event. We had a blow out, got lost, and Jill got a speeding ticket. I will be here through the weekend, so bloggong will be very light. Oh and I will not be doing Spf this week. Clint is at home enjoying the quiet. Lucky bastard!!!!!!!!!

I had this great idea that I was going to make a Christmas wreath, I guess I should leave the REALLY creative stuff to Meritt . Here is the before. And the pathetic after. I think it need some ribbon or something. I couldn't get the snowman to look right. Hmph!!!! Want to see more before and afters? Yes, you do!!!! Meritt Cat Stacy A Military Mom Jana Jenny Erik Kris Cady Christie WarCryGirl Who else is playing?

Okay, I have never made any bones of making fun of myself. I am now giving you an even bigger opportunity to laugh and point your fingers. Have you ever seen an uglier school picture? Where are the retakes? Why does my hair look so bad? What was my mother thinking letting me look so bad? Thank god for wax. Check out the brows. Oh, the smile, the teeth, and should I even start on the outfit?

Meritt, here are pictures from my first hayride ever. Yes, it was only four years ago. This is Clint getting the trailer ready. Here we are taking our shots of tequila. Apparently a must for every hayride. Yes, that is me in the sexy flannel. My friend Shawn driving the tractor. Yours truely, driving the tractor. Man, that sun was bright. You can't see my face and I couldn't see the trail. Plus, I had been drinking tequila.

You are What Rejected Crayon Are You? Okay, is that not some funny stuff?

Tomorrow is the day. Self Portrait Friday. Jenny came up with this idea. She wants to see a before and after. The kitchen before you clean, the kitchen after you clean. You before you do your hair, you after you do your hair. Get the picture? Yeah!!!! Friday. Oh, and coming soon.......I did not get my picture in in time to play so I will just post "the worst school picture ever" and for Meritt, I want to post my very first hayride pictures. Come on back now yah here.

I am officially declaring October 20th National Fart Day. To get everyone in the spirit, I thought I would post some fart funnies. Now if you are a fart enthusiast, you might want to visit The Fart Mart . For helpful facts about farts, I recommend this site. It may answer many of your fart questions. I have found a scientific website that will allow you to recreate many famous farts with a simple click of your mouse. See here. Now, if you need help idetifying your farts, please check here . You can look here to see just what kind of farter you are. I have also found a site for those of you who have a hard time admitting you farted. This site gives you many options. I would like to also suggest some Fart reading Material. Please ask your local librarian if she carries these titles. This one of course goes hand in hand with the History of Shit. Then there is: Now, once you have gotten suitable reading material, I suggest you head on over here and get you a burrito.