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Friday, March 31, 2006

National Pervert Day

Today is National Pervert (In the good fun loving way) Day. Really!!!! Okay, not really, but it should be. My kids are total pervs. Steven grabs boobies, which is only going to be funny for another year or so. I mean, no body wants some little kindergarten kid grabbing their tits. Well, at least they shouldn't. Ethan likes to hang on to his weenie like it is a handle. Of course all the males in my house do. So I suppose that isn't saying much.

Well, to all you pervs (and I do not mean pedophiles, you nasty sick fuckers) I say oorah!!!!
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Thursday, March 30, 2006

Got Pubes?

Emily loves to take a shower....the boys, not to much. They are both fraidy cats and do not like having the water get on their faces. Emily can not get enough of it, which means I never shower alone. I really do not mind because it is like having a little slave in the shower. "Emily, get the shampoo" "Emily, pop that ingrown hair on mommy's ass" OKay, the last one is not true, but it was funny. Yesterday, I was dealing with some serious unexplained nausea and wanted a shower when Clint got home from work. Littlebit and I headed off to the bathroom for our "relaxing" shower. As I took my clothes off, Emily reminded me of how observant she has becojme. "Mommy" she said "When I grow big, I will have hair on my vagina too". Yes, yes you will. Ah.....out of the mouths of babes.

This morning, I again felt myself beaming with pride when my same sweet little shower buddy threw up all over the stairs. Let me tell you something. There are days when you are on top of the world and there are days when the world is on top of you. I am afraid with a start like this, there will be no amount of crazy lady drugs to help. Please wish me luck and pray to the EBAY gods that all my stuff sells.

MY CELL PHONE STILL WORKS!!!!!!! WHOOHOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Can you hear me now?

Have you tried to call? Only getting my voice mail? Well, could be because I had to fish my damn phone out of a big ol' glass of ice water. Yes, the little devil (Ethan) has taken to dropping things in my ice water. This time it was something a little pricier then a pair of plastic barrettes. So, guess what that means....Clint gets a new phone. I figure he should get the new one and I will take his old one. I can't have anything nice. You should see the remote. The original remote for the television also went for a little swim. We had to move on to a universal remote, which luckily I had up in the closet. Then my "special" guy, broke the back of it off so now we have the ever incredible duct tape holding it together. Ahhhhhhh....we are so high class.

 

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Paula Dean ain't got nuthin' on me.

Last night I made dinner Clint's way. I do not know if any of you have ever had the oatmel vs. rice debate, but we have that in our home. My mom made meatloaf with oatmeal and my husband makes it with rice. In order to make the man happy, I made it his way last night.



I really think he finds either way equally good. I mean I know I enjoyed the big piece of meat.

 

Monday, March 20, 2006

BlackHawk Falls Through

Poor Damn Clint. This is the second time he has had the oppotunity to ride in a blackhawk and it has fallen through. I'll be damned if on the frist day of spring we have a damn winter snow. He was supposed to fly around in a blackhawk with General Cody, the Vice Chief of Staff of the Army. He will still get to meet General Cody, but they will be cruising in a van. Damn the luck. Well, I guess at least I do not have to worry as much....shit that is wrong......they could slide off the road. I love snow, but I hate shitty weather.

 

Friday, March 17, 2006

Ebay Money, Debt Free and Texas

Okay, I have been very busy. I have always sold stuff on ebay, but I now have a new goal. I plan on making enough money to make Clint's student loan payment every month and send a payment to pay off my beautiful darlings back in Texas (they know who they are). I am considering putting a link on my blog to all my crap I will be selling. I have yet to decide. I mean would it do any good? I really would like to get out of the army debt free. That would give us such a grand start back to the civilian world. So, do not forget Clint has a student loan button on his site. Dasm, what a cheap plug.

Last night, I was lucky enough to be visited by a couple of friends from home. It was so great. Melanie and Michelle are two super sweet girls. I had such a wonderful time sitting and shooting the shit with them. I really can not wait to move back to Texas.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!!!!!!! What are your big plans? I tell you what, if I did not have children, I would be already haing some bloody mary's preparing for some green beer. Do not forget to wear your green!!!

 

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Gordman's

Ever been? Well, in my outings to help Amy decorate the newly furnished rooms in her house, I have been introduced to Gordmans. Oh what a store. I love it. It is so much fun. We bought some fake palms, a couple of pieces to hang in the livingroom and then a few cute little wall hangings for her daughter's room. Oh yeah she also found an absolutely adorable lamp for 24 dollars. Yes, you read that right. twent four dollars. It is so nice. I can not wait to show some photos of the finished project.

 

Friday, March 10, 2006

Half Ton Man....Patrick Deuel

You know, I am very happy for the guy that he has lost some weight, but do you think he maybe should have noticed when he was knoocking on 300 pounds door?

Patrick, Patrick Deuel.....I am glad you are on the road to recovery, but guy.....did you give any consideration to what your medical care is goign to cost other people?

Maybe when you are done you could do some volunteer work to help the hospital offset some of its costs. Maybe your wife could do some transcribing. Maybe they could donate the excess skin to science to do tests on or for burn victims.

These are the 12x....yes, 12x pants he wore before losing a little over 500 pounds. Wow, that means he lost 4 and 1/2 Katys. Holy Shit!!!! Good luck Patrick.

 

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Excuse The Mess

I am REALLY going to try to improve the look of my blog. Wish me luck and feel free to add comments. If I really like you, I will give you my user name and password and you can just do it.

 

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

I NEED IT, I WANT IT, I MUST HAVE IT!!!

Okay, those of you who have children are aware of what that and of course gravity does to tits. Well, I am!!!! I have been so sad with all the super cute tops I can not wear because the girls will not cooperate. I have the solution.

Clear friggin' straps on a bra that holds the girls up where they need to be. I have got to have one. I must. I must first sell one of the kids so I can afford the $48.00. Damn, it sucks being poor. You have got to love Victoria's Secret. This here bra is called the VERY SEXY CONVERTIBLE PUSH UP. Oh, and just in case some rich person comes by and takes pity on me, I wear a 34B. Yes, B!!! It stands for barely boobs!!!! bwahhahahahaha damn, I crack myself up. Oh, and that is me with a wig modeling the bra. *wink*wink*

 

Monday, March 06, 2006

Interior Design

I spent several nights helping my friend Amy spend her money. Yes, I have lived vicariously through her. She and her husband decided it was time to get new furniture for their house. I got to help decorate the Ivie house. It was so fun picking out furniture and decorating rooms without the pain of spending my own money. Not that I have any, mind you. WE managed to furnish three rooms in her house. Talk about so much fun. We did go to one place that was horrible. It looked like they had picked up all the bulk trash from around post and set it up in their "showroom". We bought nothing there. The salesman was sdhay and the furniture was shitty. Oh, while we shopped for furniture, Clint kept my three children and Amy's youngest. She rewarded him for his hard work with 18 holes of golf. I say that was a damn good trade for Clint.

Saturday, she and I went to a spa where Clint had gotten a gift certificate for me for Valentines Day. I had the worst massage ever. It felt like a friggin' Indian burn the entire damn time. Never having had a massage before, I was pretty damn sure I would never have one again. The manager was very apologetic and gave me a certificate to come back for another one. Apparently that really isn't what it is supposed to feel like.

I spent the rest of the weekend watching movies. I watched "Walk the Line".....Great!!! Loved it. I watched uhm....crap....another Reese Witherspoon movie. It is where she is in an accident and her spirit is floating around....well, anyways....."Just Like Heaven".....cute movie. Let's see, then I watched "Yours, Mine and Ours"....sweet and cute. I then saw "Elizabethtown". It was alright. A bit slow in spots and I love me some Orlando Bloom, but the chickie....I wish it had been someone else. Oh, like the chick from "Pride and Prejudice". Keira Knightly.... I love her. The last movie in my movie weekend was the "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" and let me tell you....I loved it. That is a total sleeper kind of movie. I wish they had used a different actor for Tibby (Amber Tamblyn) and the girl (can't remember her name, Alexis Bledel) that went to Greece. Had a hard time with them, but the movie was so good. I am serious when I say I cried. I cried several times. Not down right boohooing, but tears running down the face. I was shocked to have liked it so much. Thanks to Amy for buying all the movies. I love having a neighbor with such a movie collection. It is great.

 

Friday, March 03, 2006

RSV, Aging and Sugar

Little man in the hospital, looking so cute and pathetic all at the same time.

Amy and I....she is only 26 and damn do I look old. I am really not digging this aging thing. I think it sucks giant elephant balls.

Daddy and the babies made me a cupcake cake for my birthday. Did I mention I was trying to cut back on my refined sugars? Did I mention I am getting old and want to stay in shape? Dammit, noone listens to me. The cupcake swere super delicious. Well, I had to eat them. It would ahve been just plain rude.


 

Testing Photobucket Blog Videos


This is a test. Can you see it? Can you watch it? It is a year and a half old....but worth being the test subjest.

 

Poop Contest

I did not forget I have just been busy. I have however forgotten who sent what. Whomever sent this photo

is the totally awesome winner of the poop, paxill and pageantry photo contest. Please remind me who sent it and e-mail me your address so I might send you your lovely parting gift.


 

The Chapter Stories of Drama

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Oh Those Chickens
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I Didn't Mean to Drop the F@#k Bomb
A Lump in Her Throat
Stuck Poop


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