Monday, November 28, 2005
OH Christmas Tree
We finished decorating, hung the stockings and cracked open the beer.
You know you love the snow man fence. Clint built that last year to keep Ethan off the tree. It works a little!!! He is a creative little fucker.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
We ate, we laughed, a good time was had by all. Then the Fartsgiving cloud fell upon the party. I am not sure what did it, but everyone had horrible gas. We would go outside to smoke and come back in to a house that literally smelled like a porta potty. Ethan finally got to the point to where he tried to escape through the broken screen.
unfortunately for the little guy, he was just a bit to short to get all the way out.
I hope your Thanksgiving was as successful as ours.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Way Back Wednesday
My 80 year old Grandmother. I miss her BAD!!!!!
My brothers and my parents. Of course my mom is dead so I wouldn't be able to spend Thanksgiving with her no matter what.
And just for good measure, another picture of my beautiful mother.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
The Art of Using Curse Words
For those of you just passing through, I wanted to add that this post was meant in complete and utter jest.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
A Near Holy Day
Okay, I am getting off subject. The point is, I have beer stacked for days in my laundry room. What a beautiful site!!!!
Friday, November 18, 2005
I bathed the dog, cleaned the sugar glider cage, did 4 loads of laundry, cleaned the upstairs bathroom, cleaned the twins' room, cleaned Ethan's room, put on lipgloss and mascara, brushed my teeth, showered, cleaned the downstairs bathroom, the laundry room, the kitchen, smoked 6 cigarettes, fed the kids, cleaned kid urine off the carpet, spanked Ethan twice, cleaned my bedroom, ate half a container of pringles,called the groomer to make Tanner an appt., read and commented on some blogs....
Now, what do I still have to do?
Hand out 320 newsletters for our village, clean the living/dining room, two more loads of laundry, bake some cookies, go to the tent sale at the PX, list two more lots on EBAY......
I wonder how much of that I will actually get done.
To those of you who are sad and depressed about the end of SPF, I have some extra Paxil I am willing to share for a very small fee. If any one is DEA, I am totaling kidding. Besides, I think housewives prefer ADD medication and Xanax. I know I would give away a kid to get my hands on some Xanax. Talk about some relaxation.
Alright, off to do some more shit.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Thirteen on Thursday
1. I just got a friggin' papercut and it hurts like a bitch. I can not believe I have given birth to three children and I am bitchin' about a papercut.
2. I can not seem to get caught up with the house, with the e-bay, with my blog......I feel so far behind.
3. I have decided to discontinue Self Portrait Friday. If someone else would like to host it great, if not...... no loss!
4. My good friend/neighbor is fixin' to leave for Iraq and I hate that.
5. Steven's poop is almost white. What the hell is that about? I find it a bit disturbing, especially sense I have to wipe his ass. Well, if I don't, his underwear gets pretty funky.
6. Emily and Steven went to see their first movie with their Daddy. He took them to see Chicken Little and were both amazed at the size of the "t.v.".
7. I missed all kinds of birthdays. I am telling you, I can not get caught back up. What the hell is wrong with me. Oh yeah.....I have three friggin' children. Maybe tomorrow will be the catch up day.
8. Tanner (my cocker) has a tumor. I am totaling freaked out. The vet did a needle biopsy (which she didn't charge us for) and found abnormal cells in the tumor. It has to be removed. OH MY GOD!!!! HOW MUCH IS THAT GOING TO COST? IS HE GOING TO DIE? HOLY APE SHIT BATMAN!!!!
9. My friend Tara just got back from Spain and was totally disturbed by the number of mullets. Do they not know those are gross now?
10. My face is breaking out like a friggin' teenager. Does God not know that I am already freaking out about the changes in my skin's elasticity, smoothness, and the changes in my body? I hate getting older. I know you are supposed to embrace it, but I have to say......FUCK THAT SHIT. I don't want to get old. I want to be hot. I want my boobs to not look like deflated friggin' balloons. I WANT TO BE HOT!!! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
11. I really need to get stitch, the sugar glider, a friend. I really worry about him getting depressed. Anyone have an extra one just gliding around?
12. I miss Texas. I really want some Taco Cabana and I want a damn Garden Ridge Pottery. I want to go home. I know this home sickness will pass. It always does, but tonight, I miss my brothers, my nieces, my Dad, my friends, My Grandmother......
13. Oh yeah, Tanner has given Ethan two really good bites. Ethan is bound and determined to torment the hell out of that poor dog and Tanner is trying to get his message of "back the hell off me asshole" message across. Dumb ass kids. Just kidding....Maybe!?!?!
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Happy Belated Self Portrait Friday
I decided to share pictures from the Steven and Emily's birthday last year in Texas.
Here they are patiently waiting for us to complete the birthday sarinade.
Here are Clint and I at the end of the birthday party. We are SO ready for the kids to go to bed.
Here I am after the kids went to bed playing a little Texas Hold 'em.
That's right baby. I won ALL the money.
Way Back Wednesday (really really late)
This would be a wild night of Kareokee!!!! Notice all the alcohol on the table? I am going to just take a wild guess that I probably puked this night. Talk about LOOKING drunk. My tongue is even hanging out of my mouth.
Now, on this night, there was genius at work. I discovered many other uses for the maxi pad. It is not only a disposable sweat band (stick on forehead before exercising), but it can also be a disposable bib. Of course, my favorite use would be the disposable house shoe.
Playing Catch Up
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Are You Going to Play?
Everyone knows the punishment if Erik doesn't get your support. Yes, that's right. I will poop in your yard.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
The Diagnosis Is In
I really just want to be able to breath out of my right nostril. My nose is so stuffy, my lips are getting chapped from breathing through my damn mouth. Man, I would take a raging case of "ring o' fire" anyday.
Monday, November 07, 2005
Time to Catch up.
2. I got my dose of paxill increased to 20mg. I really wish they would just give me an anti anxiety. When the need to drown young children begins creeping in, I can just pop a xanax. Then all is good.
3. I also got a prescription for some anti sweaty pit juice. The paxill has turned my pits into a sweaty swamp land. Luckily for there is a solution.
4. I am still planning on posting my drunk ass pictures for MamaDuck.
5. I am so ready for thanksgiving. I love turkey and ham sandwiches. Why do we usually only cook turkey for holidays? It is so divine.
6. My friend Mike leaves for Iraq in three weeks. To surreal.
7. Big brother has made it to Hawaii and hopefully Clint and I will be able to visit.
8. I really have to get stitch(sugar glider) a companion. I do not want him to be lonely, depressed, or die.
9. I brought my cocker spaniel, Tanner, home from Texas. He has adjusted perfectly. He is such a damn good dog.
10. I gotta turtle head peaking out....gotta gooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Saturday, November 05, 2005
"It's Christmas Time"
WELL, APPARENTLY WE ARE ONLY RIGHT 50% OF THE TIME!!!
It is not Christmas yet, but sure as shit it is snowing.
Friday, November 04, 2005
Self Portrait Friday
This is me being pissed off because Ethan's bedroom window blew out in the wind storm. Notice the ass hair, the ass face, and the ass smelling cigarettes.
It looks like I am missing a friggin' tooth. What a hillbilly.
Other frustrated faces.....
A Military Mom
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Not My Day for Blogging
We have had high winds here all day. This means no cable, no internet and well.......no DORA!!!!
I did see the bed liner to a truck blowing down the street, A three wheeler two snap in half, and of course just the entertainment of something different.
Well, I am back and so is Self Portrait Friday. Tomorrow, I want to see your "I am exhausted, leave me alone" look. I know everyone has one of those, paxill or not.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Trick or Treat
Ethan had the candy gettin' thing figured out quickly. Go figure....the chunk likes candy. He ws the frog prince.
To continue along the fairy tale theme, Emily was a unicorn.
Steven was a dragon and acted as such.
Of course when we got home, we let each of them have one piece of candy and then sent them off to bed. Yes, you read that right. One piece of candy. We are mean parents and withold from our children for our own benefit. I have already eaten all the heath bars. They can eat all the tootsie rolls. they do not know the difference yet.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
What do you think?
Lay Me Down On a Bed of Roses
Well, when I got home, he had put away the 30 (exaggerating) loads of clean laundry I left behind and he finished and put away all the rest left undone. The kitchen was clean and the dishwasher emptied. The house (entire house) had been vacuumed. Then, I walked in our bedroom. Oh my god!!!! There were Hershey kisses all over the bed with a sweet note, a bottle of wine with two glasses, and a vase with flowers. What a good,good man. Needless to say, Daddy got a good deal in return (wink wink).
The Chapter Stories of Drama
Wife, Mother, Student, Janitor, Doctor, Referee, Chef
Katy Nichols Stein | Create Your Badge