Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Making Friends Amongst Dogs or Kids

Another stellar conversation at the Stein house

Emily: um mom, Ethan took off his pants and underwear and Steven is sniffing his butt

Mom: WHAT?!?!?

Emily: Are they supposed to do that?

Okay, now there are so many things here to comment on. First, the fact that my eldest son is sniffing his brother's ass. That is just wrong on so many levels. The other big red flag that we have a problem....Emily is not sure if that is okay or not. Well child, of course it is NOT okay. We are not canine and do not sniff each others butts.

Mom: STEVEN, GET YOUR ASS IN HERE! What in the world do you think you are doing?

Steven: I don't know.

Mom: Are you a dog?

Steven: No.

Mom: Are you supposed to smell peoples' butts?

Steven: He (referring to his brother) made me do it.

Mom: He shoved your face in his butt?

Steven: sort of

What does that mean? Sort of? Sort of? What does that mean? Clint says nothing the boys do surprises him because they are boys and boys do really weird, stupid, dumb shit. Lord help me!!!!


Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Hate Crime At The Grocery Store

The family and I headed off to buy food yesterday. We first shopped at Sam's. Man was that beautiful. We saved so much money. I friggin' loved it. Of course being the cheap ass I am, I knew we would still have to go to HEB (our local grocery store) because turkeys are only 67 cents a pound. You can't beat that shit with a stick.

We strolled on into the HEB. I stopped at the door and through Steven into the cart. When I turned back, I saw Clint talking to some Mexican guy that I thought he may have known from when we lived here before. I just kept shopping. At the deli I turned to ask Clint who his friend was and realized he was still on our tail so refrained. When we got to the turkeys, the guy zoomed by with his little girl (5 or 6) in tow yelling across the meat that he would "See you outside Honky, I'll see you outside".

I turned to Clint to find out who he was and realized that maybe they were not friends. Apparently, When I was putting Steven in the cart (which took all of 45 seconds) this guy was pissed that I had blocked the entrance and ran his cart about two inches from my ass. Of course I was totally oblivious to this, but apparently Clint wasn't having it.

Clint had seen the man in the parking lot on our way in screaming at his daughter and had gotten pretty worked up with the what ifs that man abuses his daughter right there what would Clint do. So with this jerk already heavy on Clint's mind, when he ran the cart up, almost hitting me in the rear, Clint told him to back it up. The guy complained in a pretty hostile manner that I was blocking the door. Clint pushed his cart back into him asking if he thought he was going to hit me with it. They exchanged a few more words and then we were off. I was still unaware of this situation..I guess I am not the sharpest tool in the shed.

When we made it to the deli, the guy was running his cart up right on Clint's heals. Clint asked him "Are you going to hit me with that?" The guy replied "If you don't move". When we got to the meat section the guy yelled at Clint ,"See you outside HONKY, See you outside." I mean, I am pretty sure that is a racial slur. The guy was whizzing around the store and every time he saw us, he was telling Clint he would see him outside. At one point he even was holding a bottle of wine like he was planning on using it as a weapon.

What is wrong with people? He is a grown man with a little girl. Wonder how she will turn out?
So I think with the racial slur and all the aggression, this guy need to attend some PC anger management class.


Monday, November 19, 2007

Honor Thy Turkey

In honor of Thanksgiving I thought it important to take the time to honor all the turkeys that give their lives so we may eat and take naps while watching football.

I thought it was fitting to start with the traditional turkey hunt. Historically, our countrymen have spent many hours hunting for the perfect turkey to grace their tables.

Now, The preperation of the turkey is just as important. Some use apples, some use onions and others glaze with honey.

When you have finished you turkey, gather all your friends and family and enjoy the feast.

Here is my beautiful turkey.


Saturday, November 17, 2007

Is It Just Mine?

I need to know how my spawn compare.

Do your kids wrestle and get too loud?

Do you have to tell them a gazillion times to pick up?

Do you feel like some days you are just waiting to hand out the next ass whoopin'?

Do they think it is funny to eat crayons?

Are all kids bad?

Is it just mine?

I swear they are begging to be beat. Maybe they need to get some little friends here so they have someone to play with besides each other. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM........

It's that or I am going to start investing in some animal tranquilizer.


Tuesday, November 13, 2007

All I Want For Christmas

I took the kids to Toys R Us today to get some ideas for Christmas and birthdays and well, apparently they want Toys R Us. Everything in the store is now on their list.


We Have Arrived

We are now here in San Antonio. I think we are settled for at least a year. Then we will look into buying. The kids have been real troopers with all this moving. We figured out that they have moved five times in the last year. I guess the good part is they are not in school so.......They have asked " Why are we living in so many houses?" Man, that tears a parent up inside when they feel like the kids are not getting the "roots" they need.
Well, we are here!!!!


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