Monday, March 28, 2011

The Verdict is In

“Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all.” While growing up, I had a bit of knack and flare for the dramatics. I often feigned illness to keep from having to do things I did not want to do or to merely miss school because I did not feel like going. My mother quickly caught on to my game and after a bought of “asthma” Mom rushed me to the ER because I was certain I could not breath and was going to die. On the way to the hospital my mother threatened me with near death beatings should by some chance the doctor not find something wrong with me. Well, low and behold, there was nothing wrong with me. Thankfully, my darling mother chose to not follow through this time with what I was sure was going to be one of the worst beatings of all time. I do not remember to this day if I was ever punished but the fear still remains.
On the way to taking little miss Emily to the doctor; I too began the Mommy rant. She was suddenly unable to hear us, but only part of the time, she was not running a fever, and she seemed perfectly capable of playing with her siblings. So, the threats began. I did not threaten her with beatings but I did tell her she better damn well hope the doctor found something wrong with her or she would spend the next week on restriction from anything and everything other than her books. Those would be her only companions and her only means of entertainment. Well, damn I ended up with egg on my face.
The doctor looked in the first ear and seemed to be taken aback a bit and explained how Emily’s ear was bulging and was full of pus. This of course wasn’t even the ear that she complained had been hurting. Oh shit. I am about to have to eat my words and apologize to my eight year old for not believing her. The doctor checked the other ear and it was more of the same, maybe worse. When the doctor left the room to get a prescription for Emily, my darling daughter turned to me and said “I am so glad I have ear infections, now I won’t be on restriction”. Hmmmmmmmm, I am not certain, but I feel pretty confident that was an extremely low day in my parenting.
Needless to say, the girl child is not on restriction and she has been on antibiotics for several days now and is doing much better.

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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Oh Those Chickens

When I was a young girl, I was always suffering from some "ailment". I am pretty sure it was for attention. Of course the attention was often a spanking for being such a giant pain in the ass and after a trip to the doctor, the diagnosis was an attention whore.

Well I'll be damned, my chickens are coming home to roost. They are coming home, pecking me in my ass, and then shitting on my head.

Emily has a doctors appointment thia morning because she is certain that she cannot hear. I believe that her eras are clogged, but not that she is permantly going deaf.

Dear god help me if she is because that will mean I actually have to get up off my ass wen I need her for something and can not just yell for her. UGH!!! This could be problematic either way.

If my Mom were still alive, I am certain she would be attending all htese appointments with me just for the sheer joy of pointing and laughing at me. I mean really, if it wasn;t happening to me, I too would be pointing and laughing.

Some things are just so much funnier when they happen to other people.

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Monday, March 21, 2011

For Real?!?!?!

So, I am chatting away with my cousin and Ethan decides he is going to interrupt. I pull out the Mom finger which he knows means "you are being a rude ass, wait until I am done talking". He follows the law of the Mom finger and stands there waiting for me to finish pontificating.

When I finally finish, I turn to my youngest son, my baby, my little love man, my bubby and the little turd looks at me completely exasperated and says "Well, you talk so much I forgot what I was going to say!"

Ahhhhhhh, out of the mouths of babes...smart ass babes, babes who need to be banished to the land of "No making fun of Mommy, even if you do not realize you are".


Loving the Internet

So I am in love with my Facebook, which may be one of the reasons I have a hard time keeping up with my blog anymore. Well anyways, there is some ladies I found on Facebook, Frugal Girls, They also have their own website that I think everyone who shops, breaths, or lives....uhm pretty much everyone should bookmark. It does have mostly things for the ladies, but there is dude stuff too. AWESOME!!!!

So these Frugal Girls turned me onto another really great website that I want to recommend and I am not a big recommender. It is called Vocalpoint. Check it out.

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The Chapter Stories of Drama

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Location: San Antonio, Texas, United States

Wife, Mother, Student, Janitor, Doctor, Referee, Chef

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The Return
Penis juice and vodka
And I thought I should Change the Title of My Blog...
The Verdict is In
Oh Those Chickens
For Real?!?!?!
Loving the Internet
I Didn't Mean to Drop the F@#k Bomb
A Lump in Her Throat
Stuck Poop

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