Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Dead, Mort, Morte, Muerte
Columbia University Press Defines Death as:
death, cessation of all life (metabolic) processes. Death may involve the organism as a whole (somatic death) or may be confined to cells and tissues within the organism. Causes of death in human beings include injury, acute or chronic disease, and neoplasia (cancer). The physiological death of cells that are normally replaced throughout life is called necrobiosis; the death of cells caused by external changes, such as an abnormal lack of blood supply, is called necrosis.
Since Quincy was obviously very stiff, I then continued my explanation, explaining:
Wikipedia defines Rigor Mortis as:
1. Muscles gradually become hard due to decreased ATP and lactic acidosis within muscle febrils
2. Begins 2-4 hours after death but may be sooner
3. May disappear 9-12 hours in hot climate
Knowing my children's love for languages, I tried to use this as a vocabulary learning event:
Translations for: Death
dood, sterfgeval, overlijden, einde zich te pletter schrikken iemand heel hard laten werken
n. - Tod, Todesfall
n. θάνατος, χαμός, αφανισμός, όλεθρος, (άδοξο) τέλος
n. - morte (f)
смерть перепугаться до смерти работать на износ
n. - muerte, defunción, fallecimiento, destrucción, manera de morir, La Muerte, falta de vida espiritual, peste
n. - död
(الاسم) الموت, حاله وفاة, حاله فقدان, قتل
We are not sure what happened. The really gross part ....part of his intestines were hanging out. You can see it in the picture. What?!?!?! Did I hear you gasp? Of course I took a picture. I take pictures of everything. Hey, at least I didn't pose him with a beer can. That would have just been disrespectful. Besdies, I am saving that pose for my Dad when he kicks the bucket, buys the farm, croaks, the Fat lady sings.........
Please join me in a moment of silence to honor the short life of Quincy. Quincy, you were full of life and could jump incredible leaps and bounds. When you spread you armpit skin and flew through the sky, I found you as majestic as a bald eagle. I will miss those precious moments when you urinated on Clint's shirt and when the neighbor's baby ate your poop. You brought us such joy Quincy. Though very brief, your time here was full of grapes and special Sugar Glider food. We will miss you....well, until we get a replacement.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Here is a list of some of the phrases used to find me.
hot sexy children dirty fucking&FORM=SSRE2
Are you kidding me? EWWWWWW!!!!!!!
cigerettes and breast feeding&srch_type=0&first=11&FORM=PORE
UMMMMM the answer is supposed to be no.
having three kids&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8
IS hell.....pure hell.
I had never seen this blog, but I am on the roll. Go give a visit.
Oh, OH, go here too!!!!
This search was my absolute favorite.
gray pubic hair&btnG=Search Blogs
That's right, my blog brought someone in looking for gray pubic hair. What a complimnet.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
I went to the gynecologist. Whoo Hoo. That's right ladies and gentlemen, I has a little plastic submarine inserted into my vagina
and a popsicle stick scrapped against my cervix. Oh yes, let us not forget the two finger probe. MMMMMM......That may be my favorite part. Okay, I hope everyone who may come across this knows that I am totally full of shit. My favorite part is having my droopy, fried egg boobs probed for any abnormalities.
That is really the best part. So, the outcome....."Your cervix looks great, just keep an eye out for your postcard in the mail." Oh yes, that's right, I have a good looking cervix. Jealous, don't be. It could still be covered in cancerous cells. I won't know until I receive that very personal post card. She also said "your breasts are great." Man, who's fucking standards is she going by. I am pretty sure tits that look like old, sad deflating balloons is not anyone's idea of great.
So, after searching the net and checking out a couple of places, like here and here, I have decide to change my blogs name to :
Okay, not really. But that would be pretty damn funny. Don't you think?
Friday, January 27, 2006
I get this in an e-mail from my sister in law. I had never really seen this pose in yoga. I think Clint and I may give it a try after lunch.
While out, we will also be going to fill out paperwork for the twins to start pre school in August. Yes, I do teach them at home, but they really have a very sheltered life. They need to be exposed to other adults really more then other kids. They are with me ALL the time and have no social skills with adults. Clint and I are hoping this will help them to come out of their shells a bit more. It will also give me a bit more time to focus just on Ethan. He is actually doing pretty damn well having just turned two. He knows all his shapes (including octagon) he can count to ten in English and five in Spanish. I really just need to be able to give him some more one on one time. He isn't quite as advanced in his verbal skills as the twins were at this age. I would really like to catch him up. I am a bit nervous letting some one else have the reigns with my babies, but it really is something they need. The best part.......we are so poor we qualify for free schooling. Oh yeah!!! I knew being poor was going to pay off.
Damn, I had something else I wanted to say and have had a brain fart and can't remember. Oh yeah, It looks like we may be living in the Fort Worth area when Clint gets out of the Army. He starts ACAP (process of looking for a job, house, etc....) this July and by next may, he will be on terminal leave (never looking back). Man, I can not believe it is coming so fast. I know I would really rather live closer to San Antonio, but shit, Fort Worth is way closer then Colorado. So to all those back home, this means We will be staying at your houses when we come to visit. ALL of us!!!! That's right!!! I said ALL!!! Be afraid, be very afraid.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Way Back Wednesday
Okay, I decided to play. I am not putting recent sick picture up of me. I will however show myself hard at work helping the infirmed. This is Christmas of 1978 and that is my mother
being ever so "patient".
Damn, I was cute. I really should have gone into the medical field. I would have been one hot little doctor. A proctologist for sure.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Calling All Marthas
Anyone want to make some? We could sell them and use the profits toward Clint's student loans. What a win - win deal for me.
To Dooce or Not to Dooce
Monday, January 23, 2006
Rachelle Said So
Four Jobs I've Had in My Life:
1. Cashier at HEB, a grocery store in Texas
2. Asst. manager at one of those places with booths for crafts
3. Glamour shots
4. manager of a restaurant
Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over:
1. Big Fish
2. Scar Face
3. The Harry Potter Movies
4. The Breakfast Club, Ferris Buellar's Day Off
I Have Lived:
1. Twentynine Palms, California
2. Oceanside, California
3. Fort Bening, Georgia
4. San Antonio, Texas
Four TV Shows I Love to Watch:
1. Desperate Housewives
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. All CSIs but Miami (bad bad over acting)
4. ALL Law and Orders
Places I Have Been on Vacation:
1. San Antoino, Texas
2. Springtown, Texas
4. Baltimore, Maryland
5. Port Aransas, Texas (I really do not get out much)
Four Websites I Visit Daily:
1. Yahoo...to check my mail
2. My own blog...to be a comment whore
4. Cat, Meritt, Christie, Crystal, Rhianna, Erik, A couple of hot bitches
Four Favorite Foods:
1. Anything Clint makes pretty much
4. Italian food
Four Places I would rather be:
1. In bed with Clint watching a movie
2. Hanging out with Tara
3. Having a drink with Pat, Terry, and Becky down at the coast
4. Any place with out children.
Four People I Am Tagging With This Meme:
1. Amy (who probably won't even do it because she will have no idea she has even been tagged unless one ofthe others tells her)
4. Crystal who has done it already, so just g read what the hell she had to say
Good Morning Monday
So. sense I am playing hooky from the doctor, I think I will go ahead and list the pile of stuff I have for ebay. Then I will have extra money to get the kids summer clothes. Whoo Hoo!!!!
Oh, and for those of you who wondered if I REALLY thought David Hasselhoff was hot, well of course not. he isn't hairy enough for me. Now Here....
is a really sexy man.
Does anyone have any idea hwat exactly that is hanging down? If you know, please let me and the guy from Fugly.com know. We are so very confused.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Getting Your Heart Pumping
Sick Sick Sense of Humor
Friday, January 20, 2006
Side note: for those of you unaware, I have an obsession with little people. No, not my damn kids, midgits. I don't know why. I just love them. I want to have my picture taken with one. No, not like some damn freak show, more like a celebrity. I am amazed at the shit they manage to do. Okay, back to my midgit obsession. One day, Clint and I were at the "adult" store looking for prizes for one of the pleasure parties I had and we saw a blow up midgit. I have to go back to get it. I have every intention on mailing that sweet thing to my friend Mike in Iraq. He is going to buckle that baby into his humvee. He is my friggin' hero....well, he will be when I get a picture of the blow up doll in his humvee in Iraq.
Next side note: My taxes are done. Mike's wife Amy has done their taxes and I know she plans on getting him a laptop. So, when he gets his laptop and internet access, we will start a new game. I expect all my darling poopettes to play with me. We are going to "Show Mike". So watch for it. Coming soon to a blog near you.
I'd first like to thank......
I would also like to thank the anonymous commenter on my older brother's site. I have always thought the same thing about him, but I at least am not afraid to reveal my identity. Thank you for the laugh.
I would also like to thank those who still manage to check Clint's site. He actually posted!!!!
Thursday, January 19, 2006
It's a Contest
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Thanks, But No Thanks
I soon realized he was not as knowledgable as I originally had hoped.
When I told him "Thanks, but no thanks", he was not happy.
Do you see what a poor person has to deal with when they can not afford to pay someone to design their blog template?
Stop My Thieving
I stole this from Meritt, who stole it from Sheri and Suzan.
I love this one.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
What Does This Mean?
Don't Hate Me Cause I'm Beautiful
Truth Hurts Doesn't It!!!
TOP 25 REASONS WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT 20 ANYMORE!
1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and" break up."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because "those f**king kids next door won't turn down the stereo".
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps from noon to 6 PM.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff.".
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you, and can't find one to save your sorry old a$$.
Worst Hunting Dog Ever
Sunday, January 15, 2006
What a Friggin' Deal
Thursday, January 12, 2006
The New Plan
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
NO More Babies
We opened presents and all was good.
We ate cupcakes and all was good.
I was told I couldn't have any more after finishing my fourth cupcake and the meltdown began.
Ah, the joy of parenting.
Monday, January 09, 2006
In Wanders a Goat
Clint had to watch the UT vs. USC game by himself the other night. There was not a friend a valuable and I am not really into football. He seemed to be having a great time anyways, whoopin' and a hollerin'. He had such a good time, he downed an entire twelve pack of beer. Of course after consuming this much beer, Clint has lost any and all volume control. I had to keep reminding him of the three sleeping children. When the Longhorns had finally triumphed, the celebration became even louder, only to be shot down with a prompt sshing. He celebrated by watching the highlights of the game he had just seen in its entirety. That makes no sense at all to me, but whatever floats your boat baby.
Drunkie poo finally made up to bed, after a very long, unsteady trip up the stairs. He (in his very loud, not three children sleeping voice) told me what a great game it was. He really wanted to tell me more, but like I said earlier....NOT THE LEAST BIT INTERESTED. He finally got in bed and then it started. The moaning and groaning. I knew what it meant. I had been through this before. I told him to quit fighting the inevitable and just go puke. He fought it and continued to moan and groan. Finally, off he went to unleash the bowels of hell. I waited for awhile and then decided to go and check on him. Let me first set up the scene. Clint is a fairly large guy. He is six foot almost 200 pounds. Our toilet is a fairly small toilet. I walked in the bathroom and there is Papa Bear sitting on the way too small toilet, face down in the bathroom wastebasket and his pants around his ankles. I asked him if he needed anything and all he did was moan and groan. I told him to call me when he needed me and left the bathroom laughing my ass off. Not 3 minutes later, a barely audible "babe....babe" came from the bathroom. I ran in to offer any assistance I could.
It was obvious the "time" had come. I removed the plastic trash bag from the wastebasket (hoping for an easier wash up). Clint suddenly shoved the wastebasket out from in front of him and fell to his knees. He began to unload on the poor little bath tub. That is when I began to associate my husband with a wondering goat. Pants still around the ankles, all hunched over the tub and voila......a goat.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Poop, Always the Poop With Me
Wouldn't it be cool transparent....You know that is some funny shit, no pun intended....I lie, pun totally intended.
I am now on the hunt for a miss america type picture with miss poop on the sash. I also want a miss america looking girl that looks all crazy strung out. If you come across anything like that in your trips around the web, e-mail them to me.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
The Exorcism of Ethan Patrick
He and the other siblings were doing the ol' fake coughing gig. Ethan hung his ass (well, not really his "ass", but he was hanging) over the 2x4 lattice that goes up our stairs and coughed so hard he puked all down the wall and all over the couch. I flipped my lid. Partly the non smoking (oh yeah, by the way, I have quit....again) and partly the zoloft not agreeing with me. I stomped around, made an ass of myself and pretty much just freaked out in general. You would have thought it wouldn't have gotten any worse. Well, You would have been dead ass wrong. Steven comes running down the stairs to tell me Ethan has now puked all over Steven's bed. I run upstairs to puke all over the bed and floor. The little devil was laughing. I swear, he only looks like Clint so Lucifer could throw me off his scent. He is the devil's spawn. Okay, probably not true, but in my psychotic break last night, I was almost convinced. I wonder if my mother is laughing as these infinite numbers of chickens come home to roost.
Needless to say, I have another Dr's appointment on Friday morning. I want to go back to my little dose of paxill. That worked wonderfully. I wish they had never changed it. The doctor could have just added an anti anxiety or something for the really edgy days.
Don't forget to go here.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
So, Here it is
Oh, have you seen this?
Rock Out with Your Cock Out!!!!
Stitch just likes to hang out and Quincy, the new guy, he likes to party!!!!!
Can you believe how cool these little guys are? I am totally in love.
There is one problem....they are friggin' nocturnal. How the hell can I keep up with them. They go to sleep when the other little demons begin to wake.
Twas a Merry Christmas for All
Stay the hell off the road because Ethan got a jeep. The little shit will not use the steering wheel, which means if you are in the path.....better get the hell out of the way. That goes for the dog too. Poor damn Tanner has been a victim of hit and run more times then we can count.
Steven (who of course is thinner then his little brother and shorter then his sister) got a bunch of sport equipment. Dear God, please let Steven grow, or at least be a really good interior designer.
I know it looks like it, but NO we did not get the kids drunk. We ahve seen the news and apparently the law does not take that lightly dammit.
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