Skip to main content

In Wanders a Goat

So, the story about Clint. I didn't take pictures, though I really should have so you could have the "big" picture.

Clint had to watch the UT vs. USC game by himself the other night. There was not a friend a valuable and I am not really into football. He seemed to be having a great time anyways, whoopin' and a hollerin'. He had such a good time, he downed an entire twelve pack of beer. Of course after consuming this much beer, Clint has lost any and all volume control. I had to keep reminding him of the three sleeping children. When the Longhorns had finally triumphed, the celebration became even louder, only to be shot down with a prompt sshing. He celebrated by watching the highlights of the game he had just seen in its entirety. That makes no sense at all to me, but whatever floats your boat baby.

Drunkie poo finally made up to bed, after a very long, unsteady trip up the stairs. He (in his very loud, not three children sleeping voice) told me what a great game it was. He really wanted to tell me more, but like I said earlier....NOT THE LEAST BIT INTERESTED. He finally got in bed and then it started. The moaning and groaning. I knew what it meant. I had been through this before. I told him to quit fighting the inevitable and just go puke. He fought it and continued to moan and groan. Finally, off he went to unleash the bowels of hell. I waited for awhile and then decided to go and check on him. Let me first set up the scene. Clint is a fairly large guy. He is six foot almost 200 pounds. Our toilet is a fairly small toilet. I walked in the bathroom and there is Papa Bear sitting on the way too small toilet, face down in the bathroom wastebasket and his pants around his ankles. I asked him if he needed anything and all he did was moan and groan. I told him to call me when he needed me and left the bathroom laughing my ass off. Not 3 minutes later, a barely audible "babe....babe" came from the bathroom. I ran in to offer any assistance I could.
It was obvious the "time" had come. I removed the plastic trash bag from the wastebasket (hoping for an easier wash up). Clint suddenly shoved the wastebasket out from in front of him and fell to his knees. He began to unload on the poor little bath tub. That is when I began to associate my husband with a wondering goat. Pants still around the ankles, all hunched over the tub and voila......a goat.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

And I thought I should Change the Title of My Blog

I was considering a new layout, a new title, well just an overall new feel to my blog. I mean some things have changed since I first started recording my thoughts and feelings of the going ons in my everyday life. Well, I am no longer taking Paxil and well, crap.....I think that is it. I thought the poop was really no longer an issue as well until this week. Someone decided that an oopsie poopsie was not something they might share with their mother. You know the lady who does the laundry. I was blessed with the joy, upon removing clean clothes form the laundry, an overwhelming smell of shit. Yep, SHIT!!!! I had almost all the clothes in the dryer and noticed a wad, a ball, a massive roll of poop. Apparently someone had pooped enough in their underwear and then just snuck it into the dirty laundry. GROSS!!!! I mean really?!?!?!? You don't think you might have at least given me a heads up so that I could pre-clean the undies. Man, boys are so gross!

The Return

I have begun to gather my thoughts and put them into mini posts. It was then that I decided that this blog was often the best therapy possible for the trials and tribulations of everyday life. It is of course a way to also preserve for posterity the strange and delightful things that my children say. Back soon.

Oh Those Chickens

When I was a young girl, I was always suffering from some "ailment". I am pretty sure it was for attention. Of course the attention was often a spanking for being such a giant pain in the ass and after a trip to the doctor, the diagnosis was an attention whore. Well I'll be damned, my chickens are coming home to roost. They are coming home, pecking me in my ass, and then shitting on my head. Emily has a doctors appointment thia morning because she is certain that she cannot hear. I believe that her eras are clogged, but not that she is permantly going deaf. Dear god help me if she is because that will mean I actually have to get up off my ass wen I need her for something and can not just yell for her. UGH!!! This could be problematic either way. If my Mom were still alive, I am certain she would be attending all htese appointments with me just for the sheer joy of pointing and laughing at me. I mean really, if it wasn;t happening to me, I too would be pointing and laughin