Tuesday, June 22, 2010
This is a Drama Free Zone
So blog, remember along time ago when I had some troubles with a very dear friend and my sister-in-law? Well here we go again....different sister-in-law. This sister-in-law reminds me of that girl Kelly on that show The Housewives of New York, not like the other one who is a frigging genius (which I can honestly say after taking this Business Law course......Greek, it was mostly Greek to me). There is a divorce going and in an effort to stay out of the drama when things really went south, I removed myself from any contact with the girl, let's call her Jill.
Well, Jill just kept popping up and for the love of God, I am 36 years old and would prefer to get all my drama from T.V. Needless to say, I expressed to my friend, we will call her Sharon, the fact that I hated the fact that Jill seemed to find a way to put herself in my life. Of course Sharon does Jill's hair and Jill house sits for Sharon so it was a little tricky. I did not ask Sharon to drop Jill as a client but to please be sure that neither my brother or I became a topic of conversation. I did also explain that I would like to keep Jill out of my life socially.
Well, Sharon decided one night to go to dinner with Jill and could not understand why I was upset. Sharon doesn't even really know Jill but still chose to start a social relationship with her, despite the fact that she is divorcing my brother. SO after some words were said Sharon and I came to an understanding. I am stupid, ridiculous, and should be ashamed of myself for expecting her to remain loyal to my family, after being friends for almost eight years. I did not ask her to choose between us because I felt there was no choice to be made. I assumed that Sharon would never in a million years begin a social relationship with Jill because Sharon was a member of my family and knew how toxic Jill's presence had become. Jill had said some pretty harsh things and done some pretty mean things, all of which happens in a divorce. I by no means think my brother is innocent or has zero blame for the situation, but at this point I felt it best to circle the wagons and remove as mush negativity from my life as possible. I had hoped to avoid any shrapnel in the process. I was sure when things had settled down after the divorce that there would be a chance to reassess the situation. Unfortunately, I could not get that point across to Sharon. She just couldn't hear me or had already made up her mind about the situation and was unwilling or unable to see it from any other perspective. I have to admit, I think it may be possible the friendship had run its course because for the last year or so things always seemed forced or uncomfortable...I am not sure if either of those is the right word, but something just seemed off.
I am thankful for the wonderful times I had with both Sharon and Jill. They can both be very lovely people and I wish nothing but love joy and happiness for them.
The thing I find the most intriguing is the difference between the two sister-in-law and friend situations. Last time I was devastated. I felt so lost and so broken. I wanted nothing more then to fix the situation. In this situation, I feel it was inevitable. My husband did not like Sharon or Jill, Jill is divorcing my brother, and well Sharon, though she would never deliberately hurt me, she was unwilling or unable....I am not sure which....to put herself in my shoes and see why I needed to remove the Drama that came with Jill from my life. I just want to be happy and enjoy my friends, family, and my life.
Well, it is what it is.
The Chapter Stories of Drama
Wife, Mother, Student, Janitor, Doctor, Referee, Chef
Katy Nichols Stein | Create Your Badge