Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Heading into Slumberland

I know I usually have funny stories, but I swear, if you bear with me.....it will be funny (in a sick, twisted, Katy kind of way).

I was surfing blogexplosion and came across this woman's site. She was insightful and witty (I wish I had marked her site). In her list of 100 things about me, she spoke of being with her 3rd husband when he passed away. It reminded me of when my Mom passed away.

A quick (and I mean quick) history. My Mother and I had a very volatile relationship. We loved each other so much, but were both stubborn as mules (funny, I have become so passive since she died). Mom always had the last word or I got the last ass beating.

Anyways, Mom had breast cancer and did the holistic thing. DID NOT WORK. The cancer spread throughout her entire body. On September 15, 2002 (yes, while 7 months pregnant with the twins....No, she never saw any of my children) we got the call that the end was coming. My baby brother, his wife (whom my mother adored...such a smart girl Ashley is), Clint and I headed up to the hospice. I sat at Mom's bedside holding her hand and stroking her hair. I listened to her breathing slow and tried to continue to laugh and joke as I do through any difficult situation (usually in a completely inappropriate manner). Finally, the last breath. I began to quietly cry, when WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE DO? She takes one last breath. Of course, I would not expect any less from that beautiful, vivacious woman. I knew she would still have the last word. Everyone in that hospice thought I had lost my mind. I laughed so hard and so uncontrollably, I really think it was my way of crying.

I still to this day am so glad I was there. It was such an emotional experience. I was there when my mother, the woman who brought me here, left this world. What an honor to be there for the last "event" in her life.


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