Skip to main content

For The Love of Poop

I have this gross habit. I am pretty sure it was inherited from my mother. I can remember seeing her do the same thing. It is gross. I warn you now so if you have a sensitive gag reflex, find that x up in the right hand corner and hit it. I clean out under my nails with my mouth. Yes that's right, that food that gets under there is just a little entertaining snack for later. I know you are wondering where I am going with this, well.......

It was a beautiful day out. Clint had just gotten home from work and we decided to take the kids outside to burn off some energy. I took them out while he got a cold beer and some cheese. I was sitting on the bench and noticed a little something under my nail. I went to clean it out with my mouth and just as I got close to my mouth noticed a faint smell of poop. That's right, I had poop under my nails. Apparently when I wiped Emily's butt for her, just before we headed out, I got her shit under my nail. OH MY GOD, I ALMOST ATE HER POOP. I ran upstairs and sent Clint to watch the kids as I proceeded to scrub and scrape my nails. NO, I did not use my mouth. I no longer clean under my nails with my mouth. I am cured of ONE of my nasty habits. I ALMOST ATE POOP. OH MY GOD.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

And I thought I should Change the Title of My Blog

I was considering a new layout, a new title, well just an overall new feel to my blog. I mean some things have changed since I first started recording my thoughts and feelings of the going ons in my everyday life. Well, I am no longer taking Paxil and well, crap.....I think that is it. I thought the poop was really no longer an issue as well until this week. Someone decided that an oopsie poopsie was not something they might share with their mother. You know the lady who does the laundry. I was blessed with the joy, upon removing clean clothes form the laundry, an overwhelming smell of shit. Yep, SHIT!!!! I had almost all the clothes in the dryer and noticed a wad, a ball, a massive roll of poop. Apparently someone had pooped enough in their underwear and then just snuck it into the dirty laundry. GROSS!!!! I mean really?!?!?!? You don't think you might have at least given me a heads up so that I could pre-clean the undies. Man, boys are so gross!
Post a Comment
Read more

The Return

I have begun to gather my thoughts and put them into mini posts. It was then that I decided that this blog was often the best therapy possible for the trials and tribulations of everyday life. It is of course a way to also preserve for posterity the strange and delightful things that my children say. Back soon.
Post a Comment
Read more

Oh Those Chickens

When I was a young girl, I was always suffering from some "ailment". I am pretty sure it was for attention. Of course the attention was often a spanking for being such a giant pain in the ass and after a trip to the doctor, the diagnosis was an attention whore. Well I'll be damned, my chickens are coming home to roost. They are coming home, pecking me in my ass, and then shitting on my head. Emily has a doctors appointment thia morning because she is certain that she cannot hear. I believe that her eras are clogged, but not that she is permantly going deaf. Dear god help me if she is because that will mean I actually have to get up off my ass wen I need her for something and can not just yell for her. UGH!!! This could be problematic either way. If my Mom were still alive, I am certain she would be attending all htese appointments with me just for the sheer joy of pointing and laughing at me. I mean really, if it wasn;t happening to me, I too would be pointing and laughin
Post a Comment
Read more