Skip to main content

10 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW #2

Here are a few more things you should know that people do not always tell you.

1. The warmer the fart, the worse it smells.
2. When you are no longer having a heavy flow day, you should use slimmer tampons...OUCH.
3. It is okay to crap in a public restroom, but you should know that the people in the stall next to you ARE laughing at you.
4. Masturbation is not dirty unless you do not keep your toys clean. GROSS!!
5. Babies understand a lot more than we give them credit for...They will say every cuss word you do. BE CAREFUL SAILOR.
6. Everyone finds corn in their poop after the backyard bar-b-Q. It's not just you. IN CORN...OUT CORN!
7. The older you get the less you know. HONEST!!!
8. They sell EVERYTHING on e-bay. EVERYTHING!
9. The more children you have, the further away from stylish you get. TWO WORDS....MOM BUTT!!
10. We will ALL eventually here our class song on the oldies or classic rock station. EMBRACE IT!!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Getting Started

This will be my first blog. I am copying the big brother. Seems like I did that a lot growing up. A little background first. I am the only girl in a family of three kids. We are all grown with our own children and still (even being almost 31) that weirds me out. When did we become adults and what exactly does that mean. We still tease,poke, and prod each other. The funny thing? Now it feels like there is so much love behind it. It seems like we all except each other for our similarities and our differences. Maybe that is what makes us adults. Who knows .

Penis juice and vodka

We have one more week of school here, yet my children have already disconnected the brain switch. I hate to tell them but we will home school throughout the summer. Luckily for them we can get our work done in less then two hours with only three kids and of course the fact that I sneak projects in throughout our everyday activities. Ethan decided he is exempt from the school dress ode because school is almost out and the daughter has jumped on that band wagon. I decided to let it slide. I figure a cute little t-shirt isn't going to ruin any one's grades, they were all turned in on the 24Th, so we will see if I get a call from the school. So today's little golden nugget of delight is brought to you by Ethan. Mom:Ethan, quit messing with your business. Go to your room if you want to do that. Ethan: I am not messing with it, it hurts. It feels like I am going to bleed when I pee. Mom: Oh honey, I am sorry but you will have to go to your Dad. He is in charge of penises. I handl

THE AMAZING RACE

I had never watched this show until the season with the "little person". That immediately caught my attention. I have watched The Amazing Race faithfully since then. Last night was the two-hour season premiere. There are two very interesting teams this time. One is a former POW with his girlfriend and the other....Rob and Amanda from survivor!!! Awesome. Everyone is pissed though. They all keep making comments about how they do not deserve to be there because they have already won. I think it is great that they are there. They do not have any kids. They have already won money to pay those pesky bills, why not see the world while they have the chance. I would. I hope they win, just to piss everyone else off. They could be reality TV junkies and go on every show. Next....American Idol? HA HA HA