Skip to main content

The Almighty Porcelain God

Yesterday afternoon, my dear friend Christie came by. We were deep in conversation, when we suddenly heard running water upstairs. HHMMMMMMMM...Both adults in the house are downstairs, oh shit, they have turned on the tub (I did not want them to get burned). We both ran upstairs to find the toilet overflowing, after the sacrifice of (way too much) toilet paper. I turned off the water, threw down a gazillion towels, and then plunged my arm in up to the elbow (oh joy). I managed to unload at least a third of a roll, but still the water stayed. In further I went. Down in the deep, dark, poop eating hole was the other two thirds of the roll (gross). As I pulled the giant wad loose, the water immediately rushed out the deep, dark, poop eating hole (I think I just like writing that). AAAHHHHH, a victory. I "calmly" (yah right) explained to the twins why we must never again offer up such a large amount of toilet paper to the "Almighty Porcelain God". I explained that the next time they did this, the "Almighty Mommy God" would beat their "Almighty Asses" .

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Doodlebops, Blackfive, and What a girl!

Okay, I have a few things to say this morning. I will start with my children's obsession with the Doodlebops. Everyone in the house is now being called DeeDee. They call us DeeDee. They are calling themselves DeeDee. Why can't I be Mo (I think that was Mo)? Little weirdos. In an earlier post , I spoke about my brother's blog and the blog of Blackfive being mentioned on MSNBC . I would really like everyone to go check them out. If you don't, I will kidnap myself and take a bus to Las Vegas . I would also like to encourage you to get yourself a HOT t-shirt to wear to all the summer bar-b-ques . I cannot remember how I got to this wonderfully intelligent, young lady's site, but it is worth a gander. Please leave her a comment too. Let Jennifer know what you think. One last little note. I see my counter rising like crazy. I appreciate all of you who come to visit and want you to know comments are NOT necessary, but maybe you would like to take this opportunity to ...
14 comments
Read more

Penis juice and vodka

We have one more week of school here, yet my children have already disconnected the brain switch. I hate to tell them but we will home school throughout the summer. Luckily for them we can get our work done in less then two hours with only three kids and of course the fact that I sneak projects in throughout our everyday activities. Ethan decided he is exempt from the school dress ode because school is almost out and the daughter has jumped on that band wagon. I decided to let it slide. I figure a cute little t-shirt isn't going to ruin any one's grades, they were all turned in on the 24Th, so we will see if I get a call from the school. So today's little golden nugget of delight is brought to you by Ethan. Mom:Ethan, quit messing with your business. Go to your room if you want to do that. Ethan: I am not messing with it, it hurts. It feels like I am going to bleed when I pee. Mom: Oh honey, I am sorry but you will have to go to your Dad. He is in charge of penises. I handl...
5 comments
Read more

Oh Those Chickens

When I was a young girl, I was always suffering from some "ailment". I am pretty sure it was for attention. Of course the attention was often a spanking for being such a giant pain in the ass and after a trip to the doctor, the diagnosis was an attention whore. Well I'll be damned, my chickens are coming home to roost. They are coming home, pecking me in my ass, and then shitting on my head. Emily has a doctors appointment thia morning because she is certain that she cannot hear. I believe that her eras are clogged, but not that she is permantly going deaf. Dear god help me if she is because that will mean I actually have to get up off my ass wen I need her for something and can not just yell for her. UGH!!! This could be problematic either way. If my Mom were still alive, I am certain she would be attending all htese appointments with me just for the sheer joy of pointing and laughing at me. I mean really, if it wasn;t happening to me, I too would be pointing and laughin...
Post a Comment
Read more